Enough is Enough.

Talk about a black cloud hanging over someone..... That's me, right now! I don't get it. I am a good person with a good heart. I help anyone and everyone out when I can. I was ALWAYS the person someone came to. But lately, I am being tested way more.

I have heard the saying and know the saying very well....."You are never given more than you can handle" or "You are just being tested to see how strong you are". Well, I think I have proven that I am REALLY strong and will keep going on. After my childhood (I will get into at a later date) after getting custody of my brother and sister, helping to raise my step son, getting a divorce, working 2 jobs to keep my house, (only to end up losing it down the road) splitting up with my sons father, enduring a very messy custody battle, having my daughters father just up and quit work and not pay child support, all the problems with my van lately...... ENOUGH..... I am still moving on, frustrated, but moving on.

If you ever feel like you will never get out from under the black cloud, just know that there is someone in your life that you can turn to.... Someone you may never expect.... There is someone there for everyone. You may not even know it until you have to ask for help. There was someone there for me, I did ask and I did receive.

Ok, on a happier note....LOL I am planning on putting up some pics of my brother and ,myself when we were little.... The resemblance of my brother and my son when they were both the same age is astonishing....As well as my daughter and myself when I was her age.... WOW ! I will get the pics up soon....

To everyone, have a good night.

I really am getting old !!!

www.team2succeed.com/now


So earlier I am driving and I put my radio on scan, that way I can find a good song and stop it. I end up stopping on our oldies station.... And what do I hear on it ? Phil Collins, In the air of night.... OMG, that can't be.



I remember when I was 15 and lived in North Royalton. I was in our dinning room, sitting at the table with the radio blasted, listening to that song. And there is this GREAT drumming part in the song and I was "air drumming" (similar to air guitar)..... I was really getting into it and I spun my chair around and there was my mom and dad just standing there, looking at me like I had 3 heads..... LMAO ! I was a little embarrassed.



Here it is 24 years later and I am hearing that song on the oldies..... WOW !



My taste in music is everywhere... I just don't get into rap, hip hop, or classical..... But I can get into everything from slow romantic songs, to the oldies that I heard my parents listening to when I was growing up. Now the weird thing is, I have NEVER, until recently (the last year) got into NIN, (nine inch nails) and TOOL But thanks to my brother, (thanks Keith) I am an official NIN groupie.... LOL





On another note.... I am leaving a link to my website, for those that are in need to make a difference in their family and income. This is really a great opportunity.

See for me, working a second job outside of the house is not even an option. After I pay a babysitter and then the gas to get there, I will not make anything..... I will also never see my kids. At least with this I am able to be here. I may not be spending the quality time with them that I would like, but I am here if something should happen. I make up for the quality time when I am not working.

So if you are like myself, and need to bring in another income, you are pretty good with your computer and you have at least 10 hour each week, then maybe taking a closer look is for you.


To all, I hope you have a great night!

How do those people do it?

You hear the stories on the news or on the radio..... People who quit their job to pursue their dream. ( John Doe ) has a family and a wife and decided to quit his job to pursue his dream of being an arctic fisherman.... LOL .......I mean, I'm all for following your dreams. That's what I am trying to do. But when I actually hear how someone gave up a job, a good job, to go dog sledding across the country, I am amazed.

First, how are they paying their bills?
Do they have a partner that misses them?
Do they have kids that need them?


Managing time is something I am having a hard time doing. I am up at 5:30 a.m. It takes about another 45 minutes to get my kids up (when I don't sleep walk back to bed). They are just like me.... LMAO.... I have been told for years, so many years that I sleep walk and talk in my sleep. LOL I have been this way forever. And now my kids have inherited this fine trait of mine... LOL

I used to have a timer ( cooking timer) hooked up to my HUGE stereo.... I would have the speaker sitting in the hall, towards my bedroom, along with my alarm clark and I would still sleep walk to the timer, shut it off, and go back to bed... OMG, I was and still am bad. I am just NOT the morning person.

I am a late night person. Being up till 1 or 2 in the morning is nothing to me. This is when I work best. The kids are asleep. I tucked them in. Gave kisses and hugs and went back to work.

I realize that I am walking a fine line. I am trying SOOOO hard to work towards a near future of relaxation, freedom, time, money... All for me and my loved ones.... But then on the other hand, my kids need me now..... So it's difficult. I sometimes take a day off of work just to spend time with them... To let them know I love them and show them.... To have fun with them.

Everything I am doing is for my kids.... They may not know it right now, but they will. I just hope that they realize all the work I do is paying off.

To everyone, I wish you a good night !

So What Triggers Jealousy?

Ok, so what makes a person jealous? Why would a person try to do some cheking on you? You can type in almost anyone's name and something will come up on that person.... Yes, even my blog comes up... (if you know my last name).



Ok, so I am thinking out loud right now... Try and follow along. I am still new to this blogging thing. If I were to send someone an email with a link to my website, let's say about a year ago.... You would still be able to go into that email and see when I sent it to you.... It is dated.

So now let's try and figure out when I started blogging. Hmmmm, how would someone that comes to my blog figure out when I first started blogging? I believe the posts are dated and show when you started. If I started blogging in March of 2007, that's only 6 months, right?



Ok, this is where I may need help... LMAO



How can someone take an email that I sent over a year ago and attach my blog to it, and say that my blog was attached to the email I sent over a year ago?????


I was really good in match at school... I think it's still the same... LOL

You CAN'T take something 6 months old and add it to something over 12 months old.....



Any feedback will be greatly appreciated. See, I want this person to know that I know what they are up to. And I'm sure they will be back, reading and checking on me some more.... LOL





Have a great night, I know I will !!!!!

This is in Polynesia..... Beautiful!!!

I am told that these cabins that sit above the water have a glass bottom floor so you can see tropical fish.... How awesome is that?

Fun on the Island

I can just see me and my kids kicking back, catching some sun and swimming..... Having fun.

Another Update!

Ok, I know it's been a little while so I will give a short update. I have been so busy lately. I did not intend on going this long without posting .

My little girls father finally made a payment for child support. I can already see how he will work this. See, every 3 months he will be sent a letter that tells him the CSEA will suspend his drivers liscense unless he makes a full 1 month payment. Which he did. So, he can make 1 month payment every 3 months without anything happening to him.... HMMM, just does not seem right. So, I don't expect another payment until Dec, 2007.


I love watching my son play football and practice. I wish I could see more of it. But my business is moving so fast now and so many people rely on me that it makes things difficult. I explained to my son that once his games start, I will be able to stay for most of them. I will make time.

As for my daughter, she is acting up..... Alot of notices from preschool.... Not listening, throwing fits and being mean. I REALLY need to get a hold of her now... I DON'T want a rebellious teenage daughter..... I know what they are about..... After all, I was one.... LOL


Hmmmm.... I think something should be said about ex's..... And maybe about the partner they hook up with. I believe I will save this topic for next time.... Believe me, I could go on and on about this one..... ROFLMAO !

CSEA

Ok, it's official. (CSEA) Child Support Enforcement Agency has suspended his drivers license. It's not even the 16th yet. I guess they don't mess around. At first I thought that it was not good. That now he had an excuse not to pay child support since his license were suspended. But then I found out that he will only get them back once he pays the back child support that he owes. And right now, he is over $2,000.00

What would make a man just quit his job, stop helping to support his daughter and pretty much vanish ? Why is it ok to just leave everything up to me and assume that I will take care of things and be ok? The truth is we will be ok. It's just the idea of how he has handled this and what he has done.

My business is remaining steady. I have been putting less time in these last few days and this will continue for a little while longer. My son has joined football and I love football. So I go to all of his practices (and soon the games) and I help out the other mothers when needed.

I am a true believer in working to create your future. The future you see and want. But I am also learning (just started learning) that my kids are here now and NOW is when they need me. So I have been re-prioritizing things. Plus, being involved in something that my kids like is a great way to spend some time together and have some fun. I just make up for my business on the weekends and it's working out pretty good.

And the clock is ticking.....

Well, the clock is ticking down..... My daughters father has 13 days until the state suspends his drivers license. This is all over child support. He has not made a payment since April 2nd, 2007 of $47.00. Since it is a court order, the state will suspend his drivers license until he pays 1 month of child support... Not even the whole amount he is behind. Just one month and he will be able to keep his license.

I'm sure there are women as well but right now I am thinking of how a man can really let this happen. He has a brand new truck, just recently quit his job.... I'm sure he is working under the table with his old friend again..... And he does not think twice at how this affects her.

It's not like I am laying around eating bon bons with his support. Between child care, clothes, field trips, shoes and whatever else, his support helped to cover some of those expenses.

What makes a parent decide when they no longer NEED to pay child support for a child. She is only 4.... It's not like she is 17. And he can decide that he no longer has to help contribute to her upbringing ? I just don't get it. She still goes to preschool, needs clothes, and eats. I just don't get it !!!

I'm really surprised that I have not had anyone reply to my previous post..... I am serious.... I would love to hear from people about living life to the fullest.... Are you? I know I'm not.... I can't be alone in saying that I'm not.... Am I ?

Are you living each day to the fullest?

I was just asked that question recently. And, I hesitated in answering. My answer was NO. I want to. I look forward to doing that..... Living each day to the fullest. But right now I'm not.

And where do I start? How do I do that? Is there a class I can take? LOL Seriously, I don't know how. I don't even know what it's like to RELAX..... And I am very serious about that.

I wake up, get the kids and myself ready, go to work, come home, take care of my kids and the house and get to work on my home business. I very rarely take a break from my business. And when I do, it's to take my kids somewhere that they want to go.

I am looking towards the future. Busting my butt to get to where I want us to be. I can see it, I can taste it. But meanwhile, I do feel like my kids are being short changed from me.

My goal is to ultimately be here full time, running my business and be able to go on field trips, take them places, spend extra money...... All with my kids. I want to buy us a house and go on vacation.

But there are those moments when I look at my son or daughter and they say something..... As if they were an adult...... And I'm left feeling stunned... Like, where did they get that from? LOL. Even though I am here in the same house with them, I feel like I miss things with them.

How do people do it? Live life to the fullest. Sure, I would like to ride a bull for 8.2 seconds and go sky diving for the first time, but when am I supposed to fit that in? LOL

Ok, just a thought. I know I am not the only mother that feels this way. It would be nice to hear back from those that are in my situation and those that have changed it and are living life to the fullest.