I'm touching briefly on a subject that is personal to me....I originally created this blog for business, then it turned into a little personal and now I keep it in the middle. And from all the emails that I receive, people seem to like it that way.
I want to address again, the Deadbeat dads.... One in particular. My daughters donor. And yes, he will see this. The last time I heard anything from you was last August when you left me the pleasant message advising me that you were quitting your job, not paying another cent and would see her when she was 18.
Why in the world would you call after all this time telling me that you would like to come and see her this weekend before you get sent away? You put me in a position where I had to set her down and prepare her "Do you remember Dwayne that came over a couple times, along time ago? Well he would like to come and see you again.".
So I did just that.... Prepared her. I played it up in her eyes so that she would be excited to see you....Want to see you.....And not be so intimidated....But you did it again!!! Unreliable, Self Centered, Selfish, Uncaring, Thoughtless, Rude, Hurtful and Mean Spirited......Yes, this is you.
Then I am placed in another situation where I have to "downplay" it the two times that she asked "When is Dwayne coming over to see me"? You hurt her! I can see the sadness in her eyes because I am here to see it. I can see the way she shrugs her shoulders when your name is mentioned. I can feel her uncertainty when she makes me "promise" whenever I tell her we are going to do something.
I told you along time ago that you CAN'T come in and out of her life.....You are either in or not....You understood, so you said. But you continue to do it over and over.....Say things and not follow through. Or you go a year and not even call to see how she is. I am NOT allowing it anymore.
Go ahead and print this off... Use it for whatever reason you think this is going to help you....But it won't. You are digging your own hole anyway. I believe that every little girl NEEDS her daddy. And if he is not in the picture, then a positive role model will be a great substitute. She has that...... She has that positive role model that really cares about her, does not want to hurt her and only wants the best for her. And she has gained a whole family that cares about her as well.
Since I'm sure it will be another year before I hear from you, I know you will see this before then. Leave her alone! Stop hurting her! If you continue to pop in her life once every year or so, you are only hurting her more. You have proven that she can't depend on you. That you won't be there for her. And it is up to me to do what's best for you.
So here's a proposition: Leave her alone.... Walk away..... You are not obligated in any way to her.....I will do what I can about having papers drawn up that will allow you to walk away and not get into any trouble..... Sign your rights away and you are under no obligation... No more child support will be required from you... (It's not like you have been helping anyway).
She is a blessing. I am so lucky to have her in my life. The sad thing is, you don't even care enough to see any of it. She is such a very head-strong little girl....Even when putting a puzzle together, she will do it her way, not wanting any help, even if it's wrong. And it's that determination that makes her a fighter, even at such a young age.
She needs a soft shoulder to lay on. One that will consistently be there for her and not let her down. That is me...... SIGN THE PAPERS!