Monday, December 24, 2007

My Kids, MY Why is up and running.

It's official. My website is up and running. Check it out.
As all bloggers should know... We are limited as to what we can do when it comes to blogging. So having a website is the best way to go.
MyKidsMyWhy is dedicated to helping moms... Single moms, work at home moms, stay at home moms, work at home grandparents and Christian work at home moms....
If you are looking for advertising, resources, tips, link exchanges or to be listed in my directory, please visit
A big Thank You goes out to Marcia Chumbley. Feel free to visit her website at: Faithfulgrannies. Are you a work at home grandparent?

My Christmas wish for everyone

When I picture Christmas, this is how I see it. There should be snow.... Alot of snow.... LOL
The trees outside should be decorated. The kids should be making a snowman and I should be making a snow angel.....There should be a little dog running around, getting lost in the snow drifts. Then after a good, long hard play (about 10 minutes).... LOL We should go in for some hot cocoa. Nothing tops a cold night off better.
This was the closest picture I could find of what Christmas is to me.

Well it's Christmas Eve. All the stockings are hung and the presents are wrapped. My kids are sooo excited. I made sure to take a few minutes out and explain the real meaning of Christmas. My son already knows and understands, and my daughter will soon enough.

My wish for everyone is this. I wish for everyone to have internal peace, lots of love, great friendships, happiness that overflows from you, and a healthy body and mind.

As I get older, I focus more and more on the true meaning of Christmas and a little less on all the shopping and gifts and planning that go into the hype of Christmas. But I do love it.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Setting Goals.... How important is it in business?

It seems like there are two different types of people in the world. The ones that are driven and seem to be bound by all the rules. And the ones that are carefree that just seem to take life as it comes.

You've probably noticed that the driven ones aren't always successful or happy for that matter. What do you think setting goals has to do with it all? Is there some magic to being successful? Not really, success takes work and determination. Do you have what it takes? Or would you prefer to take the easy way out instead of achieving success?

Don't worry. Anyone can learn the art of setting goals and change their life. So what happens when you go about setting goals? Basically they represent your thoughts about what you want to achieve or be in the future. To be achievable goals should be realistic. When setting goals, keeping them realistic makes your chances of achieving them much more likely.

But it takes more than just setting goals. You MUST take action. Otherwise success would be something you could have without any effort and that isn't how it works. The key to achieving your goals is acting as if you have already achieved them. In other words you must act the way you goals dictate. Just setting goals isn't enough because if you are not willing to do the work necessary to reach your goal than you might as well stop before you even start.

1. Enhance your skills in achieving targeted goals by setting objectives, as well as standard and optional activities that will help you meet your goals. The more measurable they are the more likely you are to hit them.

2. Strategize and take risks in meeting your goals. Strategic thinking is important because this allows you to be productive and focus on the activities according to your goals. Take the time to think through any possible obstacles and brainstorm solutions as part of the setting goals process.

3. Be the person your goals say you are. The way you think of yourself will determine how you act. So make up your mind that you will succeed and don't hesitate to try new things. It's okay to be uncomfortable because that means you are doing something new. To get where you want, you will have to do new things. Which is one of the reasons for setting goals.

Setting goals isn't just for the unsuccessful. Everyone benefits when they take the time to put a plan in place and then the take steps to work towards that plan. Successful people will be highly successful if up till now they have just enjoyed natural success and have never before taken the time to plan it.

Part of setting goals is accurately assessing your skills and abilities and making up your mind that you are ready for more. It doesn't matter whether your goal is personal or professional you will benefit just the same.

Clear goals with milestone makes all of this much easier. Moving forward, you also have to consider that there are goals that are just too hard to achieve on your own. At times, setting goals even creates conflicts that you might think of surrendering in the long run. Take heart. Everybody has similar concerns at times.

If along the way one of your goals just seems to be to hard to reach before throwing in the towel get some help. Think through your original strategy with your partner and get their input. Don't be afraid to adjust a goal based on new information that you didn't have when you were setting goals to begin with. Keep in mind that setting goals is in your best interest. Never give up and be sure to stay focused. Prioritize your daily activities to ensure reaching your goals. Stay positive and think of your goals as having already achieved them.

Think of it like this: If you want to live in a certain neighborhood or house, then, everyday spend some time visualizing yourself as already being there. If you are aiming for a personal or educational goal, make things happen by planning and doing things related to your goals. You will then realize that setting goals, no matter how difficult they may appear, greatly increase your chances of achieving them.

Once your goals are achieved, sweet success knocks on your door commending you for a job well done.

By: Mike McMahon

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Coming soon..... My Kids, My Why, Website.

My blog is doing very well and I am happy with that. But with a blog, you are limited to what you can do. So, coming soon will be My Kids, My Why. You will be able to visit once it's up and running at:

There will be even more resources....Spots for advertising......Recipes.....And alot more to help you in your search. Please be patient, it will be up soon.

Now, on the note of terrible jobs.... Yes, I have one during the day. I am currently looking for something else during the day. I could go into the reasons why it's so bad but it would take all night.

In my past job search.... Two companies wanted me. One company wanted me as a quality inspector but it was a contract job. The recruited told me that they would want me for 9 months. It was great money. But I turned it down since it was only for 9 months. I then found out later that the companies say that and then if they like your work, they will hire you full time. I did not know that... I went by what they recruiter told me.

The other job was for quality inspector as well..... I was told that I should have followed up with the company after the interview..... Which I did not do.... But I also know that there was a little fear on my part about starting over, somewhere else with someone new again. So I did not show the company that I wanted it.

So I am off to starting my search all over again. And from trial and error.... Hopefully I know what to do this time and what not to do....... LOL

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


WOW ! My daughter is definitely a handful. She is only 4 but acts like she is 10. I really do believe that girls are harder than boys. I am convinced of that. LOL

I know that my parenting is different with my daughter than it was with my son. But so much is different now than it was with him. And there is definitely alot more stress in my life now.

I feel guilt towards both of my kids for different reasons :

With my son, his father and I have shared parenting. So my son is not with me every night. So I have guilt for that. And if I do something (special) with my daughter and word gets back to my son, all hell breaks loose... LOL. He starts telling me that I love her more than I do him and so on. So I try to take a day where I have a son and mommy day.... There's the guilt.

With my daughter, I have guilt and alot of sadness. She does not have her dad in her life. And right now, even as I am typing this, I am crying. So right there is enough guilt in itself.

The load that a single parent carries is soooo heavy. I sometimes wish that I would let a man get close enough. That there was someone here that I could tell my kids to go to. Someone that had that shoulder for me to lean on. Someone to tell me that it will be ok. Someone to say " Hey, why don't you sit down and I will cook dinner tonight"..... LOL. But that's a separate issue itself. I am working on that. I am trying to tear some of my walls down.

I started this post out wanting to find out from other parents if they think girls are harder than boys... But I've gone off in all directions.... LOL Another reason why it's a privilege to be a woman.... (smile).

I do know that for sooo long I have believed that I HAVE to be this kind of super mom. That I can do it all. I can go to work full time, come home and take care of my kids, run my home business, cook, clean, laundry and everything else. And still have that special (me time).... You know, that extra alone time that we NEVER seem to get. (read a book, do your nails, watch a movie). Things like that.

What keeps me going and moving ahead.... Staying positive and plugging away is the drive that I have.

See, I can visualize where I will be financially... In my future. I can see it... I can taste it. I have the drive and I have the determination. And these are the exact kind of people that I look to work with.

I don't do excuses.....There is no life more busier than mine....LOL. But I do it. Because I have such a strong belief in what I am doing and I have determination in getting to where I want us to be... Then I can say that I did it MYSELF. Plus it helps when you enjoy what you are doing. And I do....

Which leads me to my next topic. What to do when you have a TERRIBLE full time job...... LMAO

Ok, I have been networking with some other businesses and moms and I will be featuring a business every few days. I will be announcing classes, businesses, opportunities, resources and some fun stuff. So just know that NOT everything on this blog is linked to me. I want to help out other moms and businesses, even if it's helping in advertising.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Blogging and Business Made Simply

If you’re new to home business and considering starting a weblog (blog) to promote your business, here are a few tips to get you started. Blogging for business is different from keeping personal blog, so be sure to go about it the right way. Be professional, and keep in mind that you’re representing your home-based company at all times. Know your audience when designing your blog and choosing the topics you’ll write about, keep your audience in mind. If you’re writing to an audience of beginners, be sure to write on a beginner level. If you’re catering to tech savvy gurus, don’t bore them to tears with the basics. Keep your posts relevant and on topic, and always keep your reader in mind. After all – that’s who you’re taking the time to write for! Use your unique voice. Blogs are popular because they put a personal face on business. Great for small business owners, they add personality and a unique flair to formerly stuffy business affairs. Use your blog to show your readers what a day in your home based business is like. Discuss your thoughts, observations, and personal insights. But don’t forget to keep your posts relevant, on topic, and enjoyable for the reader. Share some links. The best way, by far, to get traffic to your blog is through a network of back links. Take the time to read other blogs that are similar to your blog. Write about them on your blog, and link to them. These bloggers will be thrilled, and most will give you reciprocal back links, providing great organic traffic to your blog from their readers. Everyone loves free traffic, so share some link love today! It’s always appreciated in the blogosphere, and it’s a great way to win friends and influence people. Focus your content. Search engines love keywords focused content. When writing a post, pick out the main theme, and choose keywords that showcase it. Repeat them throughout your post as often as possible, without forcing them or making your text sound unnatural. This helps the search engines to know what your post is about and find your blog quickly and easily – and everyone loves it when the search engines can find their blog! Update regularly. Blogs that are not updated regularly quickly lose visitors. No one likes to visit daily or weekly and see the same content over and over. Choose a regular day of the week to update your blog, and stick to it. If you can’t keep up with your blog, consider hiring a ghostwriter to do this task for you. Updating your blog regularly is key to Blogging Success. A blog can be a terrific addition to your home based business, allowing you to keep in touch with your clients on a personal level. They can interact with you through blog comments, and see a more personal side of you, the business owner. You can promote your business across the Internet for free by interacting with other bloggers, share your business’s growth and development with clients and potential clients, and add a personal touch to all your business dealings. Blogging is a great addition to any home business.
Marcia Chumbley is a work at home mom and grandmother in Minnesota. She is the owner of a Christian Work From Home Moms and Grandparents web site at: and and fun site called Work At Home Divas Online at Bringing generations of Christian Work From Home Moms, Grandmothers, Parents, Boomers and Families together while providing FREE Advertising Networking and Resources, while balancing the work at home experience.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving.....

So it's Thanksgiving. Have you acknowledged what you are thankful for? I have. I have always kept a thankful journal and try to journal every night. But I am trying something different. I want to show my thankfulness for something I will have in the future..... I have wanted this car forever.....Another dream of mine, but I sure would look good in it. LOL

This machine has ALWAYS taken my breathe away. Just look at it! How can it not!!!!!

Here here are some more pics...... There is something about the Mustang. It's strong, solid, domineering, and a class of it's own. It's a leader, and FAST....... LOL. Ok, here are some more.

And of course the Mach 1 ...... What a car.......... I lost a deposit on this car years ago.... I'm glad my x-husband checked the floor boards and the trunk...... LOL. Or else I would be driving Flintstone style today....... LMAO

Ok, on a more serious note. I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy family and friends and good food.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Our Children Are Blessings

I know as parents we have all had this moment. I thought it would be good to show all the moms that you are not alone.... We have all been there. Just make sure you take the time to tell and show your children how much they really matter to you. By taking those extra few minutes out of your very hectic day, not only puts a smile on your childs face, but also puts a smile in their heart........

I ran into a stranger as he passed by

"Oh excuse me please" was my reply

He said, "Please excuse me, too"

I wasn't really watching for you

We were very polite, this stranger and I

We went on our way and we said good-bye

But at home a different story is told

How we treat our loved ones, young and old

Later that day, cooking the evening meal

My son stood beside me very still

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down

"Move out of the way," I said with a frown

He walked away, his little heart broken

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken

While I lay awake that night in bed

God's still small voice came to me and said

"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use

But the children you love, you seem to abuse

Go and look on the kitchen floor

You'll find some flowers there by the door

Those are the flowers he brought for you

He picked them himself, pink, yellow and blue

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise

You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes"

By this time, I was feeling very small

And then my tears began to fall

I quietly went and knelt by his bed

Wake up, little one, wake up, I said

Are these the flowers you picked for me?

" He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue"

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today"

I should not have yelled at you that way.

He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."

I said, Son, I love you too

And I do like the flowers, especially the blue

Sunday, November 11, 2007

The Left Behind Series

I have always been a reader. I mostly read alot of thrillers and mysteries. But a friend of mine recommended " The left behind " series. Written by Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye. This series started back in 1995 and the final book, " Kingdom Come " has just came out. Each book continues where the previous one left off. And they have continued to do this for 12 years now. I am sooo into this. Let me give you a brief description of the first book....

LEFT BEHIND : A Novel of the Earth's Last Days Left Behind Series Book One.

In one cataclysmic moment, millions around the globe disappear. Vehicles, suddenly unmanned, careen out of control. People are terror stricken as loved ones vanish before their eyes. In the midst of global chaos, airline captain Rayford Steele must search for his family, for answers, for truth. As devastating as the disappearances have been, the darkest days may lie ahead for those who are "left behind.

And now is the final book

Kingdom Come:

Kingdom Come is the final book in the best-selling Left Behind series. The horrors of the Tribulation are over, and Jesus Christ has set up his perfect kingdom on Earth. Believers all around the world enjoy a newly perfected relationship with their Lord, and the Earth itself is transformed. Yet evil still lurks in the hearts of the unbelieving. As the Millennium draws to a close, the final generation of the unrepentant prepares to mount a new offensive against the Lord himself-sparking the final and ultimate conflict from which only one side will emerge the eternal victor

If you like taking your reality, adding a little of the " What if ", mixing in the thrillerness (I know, not a real word). ( LOL ), then this series is for you.

I am not a person to talk religion with people. However, from going to church and maturing a little, I have NO PROBLEM telling people that I am a Christian, and I believe in God.

This series of books is different than anything I have seen before. All they did was use character names that you become familiar with, create this thriller that just seems to continue forever (12 years now). Honestly, it's about good verses evil. There, that's it in a nutshell.

If you are interested, you can visit : and then scroll down to the "Discover the Secrets Behind Left Behind" and click on the, click on this link, link..... It will show you all of the books from the beginning to the most current.

Ok, as for this Dwayne thing. I have decided to NOT post his picture. First, what are the odds of someone knowing him by a picture I upload? Very slim,... Second, will uploading a picture help with him paying his child support? NO. I am not trying to be a mean and vendictive person. I just want him to step up and be responsible. It is obvious that he does not want a relationship with my daughter, but he can step up and be a man!!! It is now in the courts hand and I can do nothing until January, when he goes to court. I know where he is and I am ok with that. I will just sit back and once again.... Let the system take over and hope that everything turns out the way it should. Now that is very hard for me to do since I do not have that much faith in the system. I have been involved in it before and it is NOT fair and does not always work. But as long as I know where he is, I'm ok with that.....

Ok, that's all I have for now. Have a good night.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Do you know or have you seen him ?

So let's see..... I have been on every "dead beat dads" forum and left posts and now I thought it would be good to talk about it here.

My daughters donor has allowed the state to suspend his drivers license. He currently owes a total of $2900.00 but only had to pay $1300.00 to keep his license. However, he didn't. I know he is working under the table with a friend of his. The last I knew, (a couple weeks ago) we was still in Berea, Ohio. Now, I will go as far as giving his address as well.... Here is all his contact info: I won't display his ss # though.

Dwayne A Trsek
687 Prospect Ave
Berea, Ohio 44017.

As soon as I scan the pic of him, I will upload it as well.

I am on a mission. For many different reasons. I do believe that whether you are a man or a woman, if you bring a child into this world, you need to step up to the plate and become responsible. Why does all the burden have to lay on just one person ? And it's not the child that is the burden. It's the raising of the child. All the finances that are involved.... He has no clue what all it takes to raise a child. When the daycare calls me saying that she has a fever, I have to miss work that day as well as miss the next day because she has to be fever free for 24 hours before she can go back. And yes, that just happened to me 2 weeks ago. A few years ago, that was happening every other week... LOL

The amount of child support he pays monthly did not allow me to live extravagantly, but it did help with daycare cost, food, clothing, field trips and everything else she needed. With that gone, I have to say NO to my kids on alot of things.

Now, we did not love each other when we were together. We were dating. There were glimpses of real true feelings... A genuine sense of care. Obviously if he had displayed himself this way back then, I would not have been interested in him. But I will say that we DID use protection and I still got pregnant. Yes, it can happen.

I cannot possibly work any harder than I already am. I don't think it's right that he continues making and living the way he is used to while things are majorly affected here. He is still driving his new truck while I just soaked another $400 in my van.

So this is my mission. I want to bust him, Dwayne, for working under the table and I want his ass in jail. She is not getting support from him anyway, so he may as well be in jail.

CSEA has suspended his drivers license until he pays 3 months of child support. That did not faze him. Now, he was sent papers last week notifying him that there will be a court date January 3rd for contempt of court. If he signed for the papers, then he will be there, at court. But if he didn't, then it will take more time for the system to find him. If they even do.

I am NOT letting this go. I am doing whatever I can to help speed up the process. yes, this is a personal issue for me that affects my family. And I will not let it continue any longer than I have to.

So if there is anyone that can help.... Give me some tips.... Help me bust him for working under the table.....Turning out to be just another dead beat dad, I would appreciate it. And once again, as soon as I get his pic scanned, I will upload it.

Thanks to everyone, and I hope you have a good night.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

So now what ?

Well, the official dead line was today. My daughters donor was supposed to make 3 months of payments by today or the state will suspend his drivers license. He was threatened with this a few months back and it worked. He only had to pay 1 month of child support, though. I called at the end of the day and no payment was received. So, come tomorrow morning, he will not be able to drive. ( I know better though), he still will.

I guess I am REALLY fired up about this. After you have been screwed over so many times, you are just sooo ready to take a stand and say enough. And it just so happens that all this ( I'm fed up crap ) is going to come down on him. I have had enough of tolerating and putting up with.

So this is what will happen. His license will be suspended tomorrow morning. He will still drive. Now, I could tip off the police department about his suspension. But what good will that do? They pull him over and he will go to jail for the night, at most. His sister will bail him out. (she always does). But, he will have to pay a fine, and pay the back child support in order to get his license back.

Or the other option is I can sit back and wait until the state court hearing... Which is January 3rd. The certified letter was already sent to him. He should receive it tomorrow. The difficult thing is he is not going to sign for anything. So, I am told that if he does not sign, there is nothing that anyone can do.

See, he made an agreement with CSEA the last time and said that he would keep up with his payments. But he has not done that. So now he is in contempt. Which is why there will be a hearing. But if he does not sign for it, then nothing can happen. I just don't get it.

We have a few mutual friends. And I am told that he still around. He has hooked up with some girl. I can only hope that she keeps him around in this area. Otherwise, he will be long gone.

Now, let's talk Halloween..... Yippeee!!! I LOVE taking my kids trick or treating. They are only in it for the candy (can you blame them). LOL But I'm in it for the power walk I get to do. On any other night I can't get my kids to walk, even if the house was on fire.... LMAO
But tomorrow night, I will be the one having a hard time keeping up. I love it.

My sons father took both my son and my daughter to get their costumes. Of course, my son went with something scary. But of ALL the costumes for little girls.... Like a princess, fairy, Belle, Cinderella, anything, what does she pick ? She comes back in a spiderman costume. Why, Why, Why ? LOL . Will my little girl ever be a little girl ?

I'm sure this is just a funny phase..... ( I hope ). I know one thing. If she had seen a John Cena costume (wrestler) she would have picked that. I guess I can live with Spiderman. LOL

Ok, I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween. I know I will... I will be walking behind all the kids with my own bag, cutting the bottoms of their bags and taking their candy. ROFLMAO !

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Let's see what happens now.....

Well, it appears that my daughters donor has received a letter from CSEA, informing him that he has until tomorrow ( Monday, October 29th) to make 3 months of child support payments or the state will suspend his drivers license. I am at the point where I no longer have sympathy. I can't quit my job when ever I feel like it. I can't throw my arms up and say that I no longer want to be a parent. Or I no longer want to deal with responsibilities.

Last week was a bad week for me. Preschool called me on Wednesday to let me know that my daughter had a fever and I needed to pick her up. Which also meant that she would not be at school the following day since the policy is that a child has to be fever free for 24 hours. So I knew I would miss work on Thursday. So I thought I would kill 2 birds with 1 stone. My van has needed to be worked on for some time now. So I got in the garage on Thursday and thought I would be able to pick it up Thursday night. Well, it was not ready. So I ended up missing work a half a day on Friday until I got a ride to pick my van up. (which is still not right). So I ended up missing 2 full days of work. Ugghhh !!!!!

So see, I don't have much compassion for someone that does not get it. For someone that is willing to let the other parent take the hardship without thinking twice about it. He really has no clue.

On another note, I am going out with someone I have known for about 4 years this coming weekend. It's been awhile since I have seen him. We have stayed in touch all these years and thought it might be a good thing to get out together.... We'll see how it goes.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

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Sunday, October 14, 2007

The sadness in her eyes.....

I was at my sons football game yesterday.... (Yes, I plan on putting some pictures up). And one of the moms started talking with me. I introduced myself to her and shook her hand. She seemed nice enough. But as soon as she started talking, I could smell all this alcohol coming from her. Then she began commenting on how my little girl was soo pretty and how her little girl was... Let's see, her exact words were "the devil". OMG, I was shocked to hear any mother say that their child was the devil.

I understand that we all get frustrated and that our kids learn to push our buttons. And I even know that we allow it. Well, I do. And I also know that my daughter IS very hard. She is set in her way. She will do things her way, even if it's wrong, not wanting any help. I've told my friends how she is. But I have not said any of this in front of her. I could not imagine saying such hurtful things to my children.

Well, as we were leaving, this lady came up to me with her little daughter. She had to be about 7 or 8 years old. She turned to look at me and the mother introduced her daughter to me as her "little devil". And then started telling me how she does not listen and disobeys her and that she was the perfect child, then saying that she could only wish. I stood there watching this little girl, looking at her mom, with such sadness. The little girl did not say anything. Not a word. She was just looking up at her mom, as if wondering why her mom did not love her. She had such sadness in her eyes. I can't explain it.

I did not know what to say or do... How to react. I just walked to the girl and put my arms around her and rubbing her back, looking at the mother and telling her that she had a beautiful little girl who will be just fine.

Obviously this bothers me. I am still thinking about it today. And I wish I had said different things to the mother. I really wanted to shake the mother and ask her if she really could not see what she was doing to her daughter? But I didn't. I really wanted to hug that little girl, not just rub her back. And tell her that she is perfect the way she is. But I didn't.

I am not the perfect mom. I make alot of mistakes. But I have a great relationship with my son As far as him telling me things. He is always talking with me about things that he does not want this person to know or that person to know. I want him to be able to come to me with anything and I want him to know it's ok. Lately he has been going through this mouthy thing. But I remember it. I used to do it. Anything I ask him is "in a minute" or "not just yet". The only real complaint I have about my son is all this football and wrestling stuff he takes out on his sister. Now, she is growing into a mini wrestler/football player.

My children are blessings. I may not feel that or think that every day but I do know. I am lucky to have my kids. And it is because of them that I strive for so much more. That I check myself to make sure that I am giving them My attention.... My heart.... My positive words... My unconditional love.

To all the little boys and girls that have looked up to their mother or father and been spoken down to as if they were no good..... As the tears roll down my cheeks , I give you all a hug from me. Someone you don't even know does care about you and how you feel.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

I now know the secret.

A friend of mine had burned a dvd for me. It was called "The Secret". So I put it in my dvd player, and I can honestly say that I was intrigued. I could not stop watching it. So now I am telling everyone about it. I just can't stop.

It's like this. I have always been a lucky person. And in spite of past bad things, I have always been able to remain positive. But when I watched this dvd, I had a light bulb moment.

As I have said in past posts, I do believe that you create your future. If you are negative, you will create negative. But it was not until I watched this dvd that I REALLY understood this process.

I found that with the way things have been going lately, I have been thinking negative. My daughters donor has up and moved. So not only has he NOT been paying child support for sooo many months, he up and moved. LUCKILY, I know how to search. And I found that he is living in Garfield Heights. Yet, child support has to serve him papers in person for contempt of court. And since I don't have a street address (yet) there is nothing they can do.

My van has been giving me problems lately. And I just can't seem to catch a break.

I do now see that if you continue to think about the negative, the bad that is happening, that only creates more negative.... Bad things to happen. The goal is to take those negative things that have happened and somehow, turn them into something positive. Because then you can FEEL positive for the way you are thinking. You need to have your feelings in-tune with your thoughts. You can't be thinking " Ohh my god, how am I going to pay this bill" and feeling good about it. It does not work. You also can't be thinking "Ohh well, what's one more bill" and then think to yourself, "how am I gonna pay this"?

Your thoughts NEED to be the same as your feelings, in order for this to work.

I am also a believer that you can heal yourself. Even with something as terminal as cancer, I believe that as long as you stay positive in your thoughts, and in your heart, you can heal yourself. And this is something close to me since cancer does run in my family.

So that's all I have tonight. Go out and rent "The Secret". See if it makes a different for you.
Good luck trying to get it though, I hear everyone is out.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

The struggles of single parenting.....

A friend of mine, Marilyn had wrote this article. And I wanted to share it with everyone. Being a parent IS the toughest job in the world. Now I'm sure we can all agree on that. We are not given an instruction manual or a "how to" book. However, if you are a good parent, you really won't need those anyway. LOL

A single mom does have it even a little tougher. And I am referring to the REAL single moms. The moms that don't have a partner in their life. (whether you choose to have it that way or not). I choose it that way for a reason. I am determined to create my future. And I will do it by myself. As I have stated in previous posts, I will not let anyone stand in my way. Which is my choice. After I create what I want, and where I want to be, then I will put myself out there and date again. LOL

Managing time is a little hard. There just is not enough time in a day to get everything done that needs to be done. But I keep at it every day.

I just want the single moms to know that there is light at the end of your tunnel. Whatever you are striving for, don't lose faith in your goal, your dream. Keep focused and take it as each day comes. Just believe and don't give up.

Marilyns Story

I wish I had the opportunity to work from home while I was working and raising my children. Looking back, I really don’t know how I managed a full time job, softball games, Girl Scouts, swimming lessons, dance classes and so on. If you are reading this you know that there are not enough hours in a day to do all of these things and then have time to really enjoy your children. In today’s society if you walk up to a woman and ask what is her career, if the answer is," I’m a stay-at-home mom" people might tend to look down on her. But if she is a working mom, they ask, how do you do it all? This happens to many women and it makes it harder for them to choose between their children and work. The advantages for a stay-at-home mother are a tremendous feeling of fulfillment, the thought of being important and needed. The gratification she receives from knowing she is giving her children a strong moral foundation and a pleasure of giving as well as seeing her children grow, and being an integral part of their lives. There are also conflicts for that stay-at-home mom. She may not have a sense of fulfillment, feeling her life is limited and she is trapped. She may also feel that being at home makes her lose her "self" and not having a high self-worth. My children are grown and married now but I feel that I need to help other Christian Stay at Home Mothers and Grandmothers and Boomers nurture the children who will change the world. We are a group of Christian Mothers, Stay at Home Moms, Working Moms, Single mothers and WAHMs coming together for support and encouragement.

Thank you for sharing Marilyn.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Enough is Enough.

Talk about a black cloud hanging over someone..... That's me, right now! I don't get it. I am a good person with a good heart. I help anyone and everyone out when I can. I was ALWAYS the person someone came to. But lately, I am being tested way more.

I have heard the saying and know the saying very well....."You are never given more than you can handle" or "You are just being tested to see how strong you are". Well, I think I have proven that I am REALLY strong and will keep going on. After my childhood (I will get into at a later date) after getting custody of my brother and sister, helping to raise my step son, getting a divorce, working 2 jobs to keep my house, (only to end up losing it down the road) splitting up with my sons father, enduring a very messy custody battle, having my daughters father just up and quit work and not pay child support, all the problems with my van lately...... ENOUGH..... I am still moving on, frustrated, but moving on.

If you ever feel like you will never get out from under the black cloud, just know that there is someone in your life that you can turn to.... Someone you may never expect.... There is someone there for everyone. You may not even know it until you have to ask for help. There was someone there for me, I did ask and I did receive.

Ok, on a happier note....LOL I am planning on putting up some pics of my brother and ,myself when we were little.... The resemblance of my brother and my son when they were both the same age is astonishing....As well as my daughter and myself when I was her age.... WOW ! I will get the pics up soon....

To everyone, have a good night.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

I really am getting old !!!

So earlier I am driving and I put my radio on scan, that way I can find a good song and stop it. I end up stopping on our oldies station.... And what do I hear on it ? Phil Collins, In the air of night.... OMG, that can't be.

I remember when I was 15 and lived in North Royalton. I was in our dinning room, sitting at the table with the radio blasted, listening to that song. And there is this GREAT drumming part in the song and I was "air drumming" (similar to air guitar)..... I was really getting into it and I spun my chair around and there was my mom and dad just standing there, looking at me like I had 3 heads..... LMAO ! I was a little embarrassed.

Here it is 24 years later and I am hearing that song on the oldies..... WOW !

My taste in music is everywhere... I just don't get into rap, hip hop, or classical..... But I can get into everything from slow romantic songs, to the oldies that I heard my parents listening to when I was growing up. Now the weird thing is, I have NEVER, until recently (the last year) got into NIN, (nine inch nails) and TOOL But thanks to my brother, (thanks Keith) I am an official NIN groupie.... LOL

On another note.... I am leaving a link to my website, for those that are in need to make a difference in their family and income. This is really a great opportunity.

See for me, working a second job outside of the house is not even an option. After I pay a babysitter and then the gas to get there, I will not make anything..... I will also never see my kids. At least with this I am able to be here. I may not be spending the quality time with them that I would like, but I am here if something should happen. I make up for the quality time when I am not working.

So if you are like myself, and need to bring in another income, you are pretty good with your computer and you have at least 10 hour each week, then maybe taking a closer look is for you.

To all, I hope you have a great night!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

How do those people do it?

You hear the stories on the news or on the radio..... People who quit their job to pursue their dream. ( John Doe ) has a family and a wife and decided to quit his job to pursue his dream of being an arctic fisherman.... LOL .......I mean, I'm all for following your dreams. That's what I am trying to do. But when I actually hear how someone gave up a job, a good job, to go dog sledding across the country, I am amazed.

First, how are they paying their bills?
Do they have a partner that misses them?
Do they have kids that need them?

Managing time is something I am having a hard time doing. I am up at 5:30 a.m. It takes about another 45 minutes to get my kids up (when I don't sleep walk back to bed). They are just like me.... LMAO.... I have been told for years, so many years that I sleep walk and talk in my sleep. LOL I have been this way forever. And now my kids have inherited this fine trait of mine... LOL

I used to have a timer ( cooking timer) hooked up to my HUGE stereo.... I would have the speaker sitting in the hall, towards my bedroom, along with my alarm clark and I would still sleep walk to the timer, shut it off, and go back to bed... OMG, I was and still am bad. I am just NOT the morning person.

I am a late night person. Being up till 1 or 2 in the morning is nothing to me. This is when I work best. The kids are asleep. I tucked them in. Gave kisses and hugs and went back to work.

I realize that I am walking a fine line. I am trying SOOOO hard to work towards a near future of relaxation, freedom, time, money... All for me and my loved ones.... But then on the other hand, my kids need me now..... So it's difficult. I sometimes take a day off of work just to spend time with them... To let them know I love them and show them.... To have fun with them.

Everything I am doing is for my kids.... They may not know it right now, but they will. I just hope that they realize all the work I do is paying off.

To everyone, I wish you a good night !

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

So What Triggers Jealousy?

Ok, so what makes a person jealous? Why would a person try to do some cheking on you? You can type in almost anyone's name and something will come up on that person.... Yes, even my blog comes up... (if you know my last name).

Ok, so I am thinking out loud right now... Try and follow along. I am still new to this blogging thing. If I were to send someone an email with a link to my website, let's say about a year ago.... You would still be able to go into that email and see when I sent it to you.... It is dated.

So now let's try and figure out when I started blogging. Hmmmm, how would someone that comes to my blog figure out when I first started blogging? I believe the posts are dated and show when you started. If I started blogging in March of 2007, that's only 6 months, right?

Ok, this is where I may need help... LMAO

How can someone take an email that I sent over a year ago and attach my blog to it, and say that my blog was attached to the email I sent over a year ago?????

I was really good in match at school... I think it's still the same... LOL

You CAN'T take something 6 months old and add it to something over 12 months old.....

Any feedback will be greatly appreciated. See, I want this person to know that I know what they are up to. And I'm sure they will be back, reading and checking on me some more.... LOL

Have a great night, I know I will !!!!!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

This is in Polynesia..... Beautiful!!!

I am told that these cabins that sit above the water have a glass bottom floor so you can see tropical fish.... How awesome is that?

Fun on the Island

I can just see me and my kids kicking back, catching some sun and swimming..... Having fun.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Another Update!

Ok, I know it's been a little while so I will give a short update. I have been so busy lately. I did not intend on going this long without posting .

My little girls father finally made a payment for child support. I can already see how he will work this. See, every 3 months he will be sent a letter that tells him the CSEA will suspend his drivers liscense unless he makes a full 1 month payment. Which he did. So, he can make 1 month payment every 3 months without anything happening to him.... HMMM, just does not seem right. So, I don't expect another payment until Dec, 2007.

I love watching my son play football and practice. I wish I could see more of it. But my business is moving so fast now and so many people rely on me that it makes things difficult. I explained to my son that once his games start, I will be able to stay for most of them. I will make time.

As for my daughter, she is acting up..... Alot of notices from preschool.... Not listening, throwing fits and being mean. I REALLY need to get a hold of her now... I DON'T want a rebellious teenage daughter..... I know what they are about..... After all, I was one.... LOL

Hmmmm.... I think something should be said about ex's..... And maybe about the partner they hook up with. I believe I will save this topic for next time.... Believe me, I could go on and on about this one..... ROFLMAO !

Sunday, August 12, 2007


Ok, it's official. (CSEA) Child Support Enforcement Agency has suspended his drivers license. It's not even the 16th yet. I guess they don't mess around. At first I thought that it was not good. That now he had an excuse not to pay child support since his license were suspended. But then I found out that he will only get them back once he pays the back child support that he owes. And right now, he is over $2,000.00

What would make a man just quit his job, stop helping to support his daughter and pretty much vanish ? Why is it ok to just leave everything up to me and assume that I will take care of things and be ok? The truth is we will be ok. It's just the idea of how he has handled this and what he has done.

My business is remaining steady. I have been putting less time in these last few days and this will continue for a little while longer. My son has joined football and I love football. So I go to all of his practices (and soon the games) and I help out the other mothers when needed.

I am a true believer in working to create your future. The future you see and want. But I am also learning (just started learning) that my kids are here now and NOW is when they need me. So I have been re-prioritizing things. Plus, being involved in something that my kids like is a great way to spend some time together and have some fun. I just make up for my business on the weekends and it's working out pretty good.

Friday, August 3, 2007

And the clock is ticking.....

Well, the clock is ticking down..... My daughters father has 13 days until the state suspends his drivers license. This is all over child support. He has not made a payment since April 2nd, 2007 of $47.00. Since it is a court order, the state will suspend his drivers license until he pays 1 month of child support... Not even the whole amount he is behind. Just one month and he will be able to keep his license.

I'm sure there are women as well but right now I am thinking of how a man can really let this happen. He has a brand new truck, just recently quit his job.... I'm sure he is working under the table with his old friend again..... And he does not think twice at how this affects her.

It's not like I am laying around eating bon bons with his support. Between child care, clothes, field trips, shoes and whatever else, his support helped to cover some of those expenses.

What makes a parent decide when they no longer NEED to pay child support for a child. She is only 4.... It's not like she is 17. And he can decide that he no longer has to help contribute to her upbringing ? I just don't get it. She still goes to preschool, needs clothes, and eats. I just don't get it !!!

I'm really surprised that I have not had anyone reply to my previous post..... I am serious.... I would love to hear from people about living life to the fullest.... Are you? I know I'm not.... I can't be alone in saying that I'm not.... Am I ?

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Are you living each day to the fullest?

I was just asked that question recently. And, I hesitated in answering. My answer was NO. I want to. I look forward to doing that..... Living each day to the fullest. But right now I'm not.

And where do I start? How do I do that? Is there a class I can take? LOL Seriously, I don't know how. I don't even know what it's like to RELAX..... And I am very serious about that.

I wake up, get the kids and myself ready, go to work, come home, take care of my kids and the house and get to work on my home business. I very rarely take a break from my business. And when I do, it's to take my kids somewhere that they want to go.

I am looking towards the future. Busting my butt to get to where I want us to be. I can see it, I can taste it. But meanwhile, I do feel like my kids are being short changed from me.

My goal is to ultimately be here full time, running my business and be able to go on field trips, take them places, spend extra money...... All with my kids. I want to buy us a house and go on vacation.

But there are those moments when I look at my son or daughter and they say something..... As if they were an adult...... And I'm left feeling stunned... Like, where did they get that from? LOL. Even though I am here in the same house with them, I feel like I miss things with them.

How do people do it? Live life to the fullest. Sure, I would like to ride a bull for 8.2 seconds and go sky diving for the first time, but when am I supposed to fit that in? LOL

Ok, just a thought. I know I am not the only mother that feels this way. It would be nice to hear back from those that are in my situation and those that have changed it and are living life to the fullest.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Is He Daddy Or Father?

Well, it appears that my daughters ...... I will call him donor, has vanished. He has quit his job and stopped paying any child support. The last payment was $46.00 on April 2nd, 2007. A mutual friend tells me he is still around but that's all I know.

I don't understand the difference between father and daddy. Are they not the same? How is one title different than the other? To me, he was just a donor. I really never thought I would look at him that way. He was stepping up, paying child support (and not much I might say).....We kept our conversations civilized. But I looked at him like a responsible parent. Now, I can't even do that.

And now here she is, my daughter, calling someone else daddy... In a way, it makes me sad that she does not really know her biological (dad), (father). How can he not want to know her. Ask about her, wonder about her.......... But he doesn't. And he never has. And I wonder how this will affect her, as she calls someone else (my sons father) daddy.......

I am so thankful that there is someone stepping up, loving it and remaining a constant part of her life. I understand how little girls really NEED their father. And even though Mr. Tree Man is not her biological father, she loves him....... Boy, does she love him. She asks me when he will pick her up from preschool, instead of me..... When will she get to see him again.....When can she call him..... I am thankful for the unspoken agreement that we have between us concerning my daughter. I believe that he will be there for her for as long as she needs him and in some way they both are in need of this.....Enjoying this special relationship that they have, even though he is not her biological dad and I am not even with him anymore.

As weird of a situation this seems to be, she is happy and he seems as happy as well..... And I can only go by that......

I'm taking a break from dating right now. I do that every now and then... LOL And it's time again. I am re-focused on my business and my kids. All I want to say about dating is, that it's
either there or it's not.......

That's all I have right now..... But I will be back!

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Ohh yes, It's summertime.....

I love summer... All the carnivals and fairs. I can't ride the rides I used to, but I love going for my kids.

Jeff and I plan on taking my kids to a carnival tomorrow. The kids don't know yet. Gonna let it be a surprise, (tee hee hee).

All seems to be going well. My business is growing every day, which lets me know that I am one day closer to my goal of being home full time. When I am doing my business, I rock sooo much. I love it. Can you honestly say that you love what you are doing? If it wasn't for this, I couldn't. I am excited when I am conducting my business. I love that I don't sell, carry inventory, or do paperwork. And it's a good feeling when I help someone reach a goal that they have. It's like I helped to make it happen. And I sooo love working with other single moms..... I just identify with them since I am one.

The only thing I will say, is that if you are a person, working a full time job like myself, and wonder how you can ever get ahead, email me , ( I will let you see if what I am doing is a match for what you are looking for. And if it is, GREAT, let's get you going... And if it's not, then you only lost a few minutes of time.

I hope everyone has a great night!!!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Ok, Let Me Clarify.......

Ok, so I am getting replies that are just asking (not to be posted) if I still love Mr. Tree Man.....
WOW No ! I do not still love him. We will always be connected and he was my first " True Love ", but that's it. He has moved on as well as I. There was alot of very emotional things between us. We had a major custody battle between us and alot of things said that can't be taken back. It is pretty sad at how the love of your life can also be the person that hurts you the most. And all I will say is, is that he had the ability and he did it..... He hurt me more than anyone ever has. More than anyone deserves !!!

I am just thankful that he steps up to the plate and is being a great dad to our son. My daughter, on the other hand, was not dealt a lucky hand.... (yes, I like poker)... LOL
Her father has up and quit working (legal) and I have not been receiving child support for almost 3 months. I never thought I would say this about him, but he is just another dead-beat donor.... (dad)....

So that's it .... At least for now.... No, I don't love Mr. Tree Man nor wish to be with him.....I have never been where I am right now.... Dating and playing the field..... Seeing if there are really good men left. I have always been in a relationship and never taken the time to date. I am actually enjoying this... LOL

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Cont: Have you ever been in love?

Ok, so the whirlwind continues.... I move in with Mr. Tree Man and rent my house out to a friend. All seems beautiful at first. But then something happens. I begin to feel neglected. Not as important to him anymore. It's just life, but I did not get it back then. I felt like I gave up my friends and gained nothing. He still had his friends but I did not. (so I felt). Plus he had kids. The only thing I can say about that is, if you are not a parent, you WON'T get it. You can think all you want that you get it, but you really don't get it. And I did not get it.

Fast forward a little. Then came our son. He was planned. We had a few rough moments but I still believed we would be ok. Until of course, we were not ok... I ended up moving back into my house. I was still certain we would be back together again. To me, this was a temporary split up. There was no way that a couple like us, so madly in love each other would split up for good. We even looked good together... (everyone said that). People could see and feel the passion between us when we would look at each other. It was like, electric.

Time passed and I started my own home business... There was no way I could leave my son. He was my first child and I strongly felt that I physically could not leave him.... Like I would be sick or something.... LOL I did a bunch of little things to get by... I had a friend move in and we raised our kids together.... I loved having my own home and did alot with it. I loved being a mom, at home with my son and starting my own business. I even took a room and turned it into my office. I hung the drywall (wrong), laid the carpet, painted and made my own office. It really was awesome. And, I really did well with my business.... I was an Independent Distributor for a company..... And I rocked with it. I even had to have my office hours posted on the door because I would have people stopping over all the time.... LOL

But, when you are starting out in a business, and don't have a steady income, you begin to use the only resources you have...... Yes, CREDIT CARDS and 2nd MORTGAGES...... Not a good decision.

Time passed and even though my business was finally doing well, it was too late. I had dug a financial hole I could not get out of. I was looking at bankruptcy..... (scared).

Mr. Tree Man and I spent time together throughout this ordeal. I would have the best birthday parties for our son and he would be there. All of his family and his friends. My son had the best. I did make sure of that, no matter what it costed me.

So, me and Mr. Tree Man began talking about getting back together. Now, understand he is the type of man that will even tell you that there is no second chance when it comes to relationships. But we did..... We were back together...... This time I got it, as far as being a parent was concerned.

So, now I lost everything.... I lost my house which I loved sooo much. I had so many memories there. I had that house for about 11 years. Plus I had a bankruptcy on my record that would last a long time. But, we were getting a second chance. And that is how I was looking at it. I had to give up my business. He told me that I would not be doing my business if we were getting together again. So I did, I gave it up...... I gave up my dream.....

This time around did not last long at all..... Things happened and it was obvious I did not belong. I began to not care. I started to live my life as though it was me and my son only......
I stopped asking to do things together with Mr. Tree Man and started filling my time with me and my son. Skating, bowling and just time together.

Mr. Tree Man and I ended up breaking up for good. It's been about 4 years now. We have shared parenting. In order to get there was not easy. It actually got pretty nasty. At one point, I even hated him.

Four years later and we at least talk. I still miss my friend. I miss him. The closeness that we had. He is the father to my son and I am thankful of the man that he is...... At this point in my life, he has only been the true love of my life.

Sure, things have changed and we both moved on. But, he knows as well as I do, there will never be a ride like the ride we were on. We are connected and I do still miss my friend. But I also thank him for my son, and for making me a mom.....

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Have you ever really been in love?

The question of the day is, Have you ever been in love? I mean that heart pounding, butterflies in the pit of your stomach feeling? When one look at that person rocked your world. I can say that in my 38 years, I have been in love once. Sure, I have loved. But I have only been in love once.

As I look back at past relationships, most of the men that I have been with are men that I did not care about at first. LOL I mean, I was not attracted to them. I could not imagine being with them.

I had boyfriends, met a man and we got married. I thought I loved him but came to realize that I really did not. I'm sure the feeling was mutual. (we did get divorced). I moved on and had more boyfriends and then met someone I kind of worked with. He rented the building that was next to where I worked. He would come by every morning and get a cup of coffee and smile at me where I was in my little office. A few people told me that he had liked me but I did not believe it and really was not interested. At that point in my life, I was enjoying being single again (after divorce) and dating. Plus, I was kind of hung up on someone myself. I had it kind of easy. I owned my own house, had a pretty good job and I had no kids. I was looking pretty good and feeling pretty good. I had it all ( what all was back then ) lol

It was right before Christmas because I remember this guy coming to my office and bringing me a Christmas tree.... LOL He had overheard me telling people that I was not celebrating Christmas for the first time, since it was just me..... How thoughtful, I remember thinking as he brought me this tiny Christmas tree to plant and decorate. He told me that everyone should have a Christmas tree.

The next thing that happened was a bunch of us went out after work, celebrating the holiday and being off of work for a few days. We had always went to Baileys but this time everyone wanted to go to this other place. I did not feel like it so I went to Baileys while they all left. I stayed at Baileys for a little while and then decided to catch up with everyone where they went. I parked my car and walked in. I looked to the left and there was everyone plus a few extra people..... (Mr. Christmas Tree Man)... I never seen him out before. He never hung out with us. So, I walked over to where everyone was and sat down. There he was, just looking and smiling at me. We all sat around as music played in the background. The next song that came on was "November Rain" by "Guns N Roses". Boy, I love that song. Of course I wanted to dance and started asking everyone to dance with me. Everyone started telling Mr. Tree man to dance. And of course, we did. You don't realize how long that song is until you are slow dancing...... LMAO He held me so tight and I remember holding him that tight as well. I even remember my neck hurting because he was so tall and I had to look up at him. Well I stayed for a couple more songs and then called it a night. I left everyone after saying my good byes and went home. Just as I was pulling in, there was this reddish GMC truck pulling in after me. It was Mr. Tree Man. I was just getting ready to unlock my front door and he stepped out of his truck and came up to me at my front door. he said he wanted to make sure that I got home ok. We talked a few minutes and I kissed him good bye..........

Then the whirlwind took over... And what a ride it was. There was DEEP love, fun, craziness, passion and true friendship....... Mr. Tree Man was my friend, and the first man I had ever fallen in love with. I went skinny dippin for the first time with him. We threw a HUGE "Whodathunkit" party...... For all those people that never would have believe we would be together. We had a pig chasing contest..... Canoe race.....a hay ride, and my favorite, Karaoke. (he did not think people would go for that, and it was the hit of the party).

Next thing I know, we are off to Vegas for a few days. WOW!!! I had never been there and we had a blast. Alot happened very fast between us. I did, however, wait 6 months before moving in. He had asked and I kept saying not yet. Then he had his kids with him, and when I got there after work one day, and he asked me about moving in and letting his kids respond as well, telling me that they would like me to move in too .....Next thing I know, me and a friend are moving my stuff in. LOL. I rented my house out and moved into what would be my new home....... (more to come).

Thursday, June 21, 2007

No Shrek ?

So, it's been a little while. Let me back up to the Friday when we were going to go and see Shrek at the movies with my kids. Shrek was on the screen the day before, but when we got there, it was off..... I was kind of looking forward to it too.... LOL We ended up seeing " Surfs Up" and " Spiderman 3". Spiderman rocked !!! My kids were asleep during the middle of the first movie. LOL. So Jeff stayed over for a bit and we just hung out talking and stuff... Getting to know each other a little better.

The following week I felt myself slipping from my business. I had to check myself and put myself back in place. See how easy it is to meet someone and get all distracted. You get so all caught up in something new that the dream you have, the goal that you have can become "not as important". I don't want that to happen. I am sooo determined and focused. I know where I will be and what I want and what I need to do in order to get there. I can't afford to get side-stepped.

I find myself questioning any man that I begin to see. Well, I don't question him... I just question the situation, the relationship... Whatever it may be. I am a mom... I have kids. I don't bring men over to meet my kids often. I have alot of male friends and I don't have a problem having them over because it's not a potential relationship. There is nothing to lose. They are my friends. But to bring a man over that I am seeing to meet my kids is a really big step.

The last person I dated was Jason. I met Jason at my full time job. We have alot in common. Especially our sense of humor. LOL For anyone that knows Opie and Anthony or Rover Morning Glory..... That's me.... Yet, we were different in alot of things as well.

Jason is a great guy. He has alot to offer any woman. He has a good head on his shoulders... Has a good relationship with his parents.... Is very versatile.... Likes everything. I have never been to the theatre... Well, I took my son to see Spiderman live... LOL And Barney..... But I don't think that counts...... LMAO But Jason took me to see "Wicked"...... The best show I ever seen. WOW ! And the most important thing to me is how a man interacts with my kids. Are they faking it or do they really like my kids and do my kids really like them ? With Jason, he really liked my kids. And they really liked him.

Now, we are still friends. We see each other every day. I still would like to invite him over to just chill out and watch one of his strange movies that he likes.... LOL. But can you really be friends after dating?
Our personalities clash at times.... But don't all friends? So, why am I not with Jason?, You may ask..... It's like this. My baby days are done. I have two great kids. A boy and a girl. I am lucky and I know it. But, I am not having any more.....Jason is a little younger than me and I look at it like this......... He would be such a great husband, family man, dad...And by being with me, he will miss out on the parenting experience.... Being in the delivery room, watching his own child grow up.....I can't take that beautiful experience away from him. And I won't ! Plus, I don't see myself getting married again. This time around it WILL be my way or no way !!! So for now, I will remain friends with him for as long as he will have me.... I value his friendship more than he knows.

So about Jeff, I don't know. That's it..... I just don't know. So I will sit back and let things come as they will and take it from there. And follow my heart along the way.