Our Children Are Blessings

I know as parents we have all had this moment. I thought it would be good to show all the moms that you are not alone.... We have all been there. Just make sure you take the time to tell and show your children how much they really matter to you. By taking those extra few minutes out of your very hectic day, not only puts a smile on your childs face, but also puts a smile in their heart........

I ran into a stranger as he passed by

"Oh excuse me please" was my reply

He said, "Please excuse me, too"

I wasn't really watching for you

We were very polite, this stranger and I

We went on our way and we said good-bye

But at home a different story is told

How we treat our loved ones, young and old

Later that day, cooking the evening meal

My son stood beside me very still

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down

"Move out of the way," I said with a frown

He walked away, his little heart broken

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken

While I lay awake that night in bed

God's still small voice came to me and said

"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use

But the children you love, you seem to abuse

Go and look on the kitchen floor

You'll find some flowers there by the door

Those are the flowers he brought for you

He picked them himself, pink, yellow and blue

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise

You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes"

By this time, I was feeling very small

And then my tears began to fall

I quietly went and knelt by his bed

Wake up, little one, wake up, I said

Are these the flowers you picked for me?

" He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue"

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today"

I should not have yelled at you that way.

He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."

I said, Son, I love you too

And I do like the flowers, especially the blue

The Left Behind Series

I have always been a reader. I mostly read alot of thrillers and mysteries. But a friend of mine recommended " The left behind " series. Written by Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye. This series started back in 1995 and the final book, " Kingdom Come " has just came out. Each book continues where the previous one left off. And they have continued to do this for 12 years now. I am sooo into this. Let me give you a brief description of the first book....

LEFT BEHIND : A Novel of the Earth's Last Days Left Behind Series Book One.

In one cataclysmic moment, millions around the globe disappear. Vehicles, suddenly unmanned, careen out of control. People are terror stricken as loved ones vanish before their eyes. In the midst of global chaos, airline captain Rayford Steele must search for his family, for answers, for truth. As devastating as the disappearances have been, the darkest days may lie ahead for those who are "left behind.

And now is the final book

Kingdom Come:

Kingdom Come is the final book in the best-selling Left Behind series. The horrors of the Tribulation are over, and Jesus Christ has set up his perfect kingdom on Earth. Believers all around the world enjoy a newly perfected relationship with their Lord, and the Earth itself is transformed. Yet evil still lurks in the hearts of the unbelieving. As the Millennium draws to a close, the final generation of the unrepentant prepares to mount a new offensive against the Lord himself-sparking the final and ultimate conflict from which only one side will emerge the eternal victor

If you like taking your reality, adding a little of the " What if ", mixing in the thrillerness (I know, not a real word). ( LOL ), then this series is for you.

I am not a person to talk religion with people. However, from going to church and maturing a little, I have NO PROBLEM telling people that I am a Christian, and I believe in God.

This series of books is different than anything I have seen before. All they did was use character names that you become familiar with, create this thriller that just seems to continue forever (12 years now). Honestly, it's about good verses evil. There, that's it in a nutshell.

If you are interested, you can visit : www.leftbehind.com and then scroll down to the "Discover the Secrets Behind Left Behind" and click on the, click on this link, link..... It will show you all of the books from the beginning to the most current.


Ok, as for this Dwayne thing. I have decided to NOT post his picture. First, what are the odds of someone knowing him by a picture I upload? Very slim,... Second, will uploading a picture help with him paying his child support? NO. I am not trying to be a mean and vendictive person. I just want him to step up and be responsible. It is obvious that he does not want a relationship with my daughter, but he can step up and be a man!!! It is now in the courts hand and I can do nothing until January, when he goes to court. I know where he is and I am ok with that. I will just sit back and once again.... Let the system take over and hope that everything turns out the way it should. Now that is very hard for me to do since I do not have that much faith in the system. I have been involved in it before and it is NOT fair and does not always work. But as long as I know where he is, I'm ok with that.....


Ok, that's all I have for now. Have a good night.

Do you know or have you seen him ?

So let's see..... I have been on every "dead beat dads" forum and left posts and now I thought it would be good to talk about it here.

My daughters donor has allowed the state to suspend his drivers license. He currently owes a total of $2900.00 but only had to pay $1300.00 to keep his license. However, he didn't. I know he is working under the table with a friend of his. The last I knew, (a couple weeks ago) we was still in Berea, Ohio. Now, I will go as far as giving his address as well.... Here is all his contact info: I won't display his ss # though.


Dwayne A Trsek
687 Prospect Ave
Berea, Ohio 44017.


As soon as I scan the pic of him, I will upload it as well.

I am on a mission. For many different reasons. I do believe that whether you are a man or a woman, if you bring a child into this world, you need to step up to the plate and become responsible. Why does all the burden have to lay on just one person ? And it's not the child that is the burden. It's the raising of the child. All the finances that are involved.... He has no clue what all it takes to raise a child. When the daycare calls me saying that she has a fever, I have to miss work that day as well as miss the next day because she has to be fever free for 24 hours before she can go back. And yes, that just happened to me 2 weeks ago. A few years ago, that was happening every other week... LOL

The amount of child support he pays monthly did not allow me to live extravagantly, but it did help with daycare cost, food, clothing, field trips and everything else she needed. With that gone, I have to say NO to my kids on alot of things.

Now, we did not love each other when we were together. We were dating. There were glimpses of real true feelings... A genuine sense of care. Obviously if he had displayed himself this way back then, I would not have been interested in him. But I will say that we DID use protection and I still got pregnant. Yes, it can happen.

I cannot possibly work any harder than I already am. I don't think it's right that he continues making and living the way he is used to while things are majorly affected here. He is still driving his new truck while I just soaked another $400 in my van.

So this is my mission. I want to bust him, Dwayne, for working under the table and I want his ass in jail. She is not getting support from him anyway, so he may as well be in jail.

CSEA has suspended his drivers license until he pays 3 months of child support. That did not faze him. Now, he was sent papers last week notifying him that there will be a court date January 3rd for contempt of court. If he signed for the papers, then he will be there, at court. But if he didn't, then it will take more time for the system to find him. If they even do.

I am NOT letting this go. I am doing whatever I can to help speed up the process. yes, this is a personal issue for me that affects my family. And I will not let it continue any longer than I have to.

So if there is anyone that can help.... Give me some tips.... Help me bust him for working under the table.....Turning out to be just another dead beat dad, I would appreciate it. And once again, as soon as I get his pic scanned, I will upload it.


Thanks to everyone, and I hope you have a good night.

So now what ?

Well, the official dead line was today. My daughters donor was supposed to make 3 months of payments by today or the state will suspend his drivers license. He was threatened with this a few months back and it worked. He only had to pay 1 month of child support, though. I called at the end of the day and no payment was received. So, come tomorrow morning, he will not be able to drive. ( I know better though), he still will.


I guess I am REALLY fired up about this. After you have been screwed over so many times, you are just sooo ready to take a stand and say enough. And it just so happens that all this ( I'm fed up crap ) is going to come down on him. I have had enough of tolerating and putting up with.

So this is what will happen. His license will be suspended tomorrow morning. He will still drive. Now, I could tip off the police department about his suspension. But what good will that do? They pull him over and he will go to jail for the night, at most. His sister will bail him out. (she always does). But, he will have to pay a fine, and pay the back child support in order to get his license back.

Or the other option is I can sit back and wait until the state court hearing... Which is January 3rd. The certified letter was already sent to him. He should receive it tomorrow. The difficult thing is he is not going to sign for anything. So, I am told that if he does not sign, there is nothing that anyone can do.

See, he made an agreement with CSEA the last time and said that he would keep up with his payments. But he has not done that. So now he is in contempt. Which is why there will be a hearing. But if he does not sign for it, then nothing can happen. I just don't get it.

We have a few mutual friends. And I am told that he still around. He has hooked up with some girl. I can only hope that she keeps him around in this area. Otherwise, he will be long gone.


Now, let's talk Halloween..... Yippeee!!! I LOVE taking my kids trick or treating. They are only in it for the candy (can you blame them). LOL But I'm in it for the power walk I get to do. On any other night I can't get my kids to walk, even if the house was on fire.... LMAO
But tomorrow night, I will be the one having a hard time keeping up. I love it.


My sons father took both my son and my daughter to get their costumes. Of course, my son went with something scary. But of ALL the costumes for little girls.... Like a princess, fairy, Belle, Cinderella, anything, what does she pick ? She comes back in a spiderman costume. Why, Why, Why ? LOL . Will my little girl ever be a little girl ?

I'm sure this is just a funny phase..... ( I hope ). I know one thing. If she had seen a John Cena costume (wrestler) she would have picked that. I guess I can live with Spiderman. LOL

Ok, I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween. I know I will... I will be walking behind all the kids with my own bag, cutting the bottoms of their bags and taking their candy. ROFLMAO !

Let's see what happens now.....

Well, it appears that my daughters donor has received a letter from CSEA, informing him that he has until tomorrow ( Monday, October 29th) to make 3 months of child support payments or the state will suspend his drivers license. I am at the point where I no longer have sympathy. I can't quit my job when ever I feel like it. I can't throw my arms up and say that I no longer want to be a parent. Or I no longer want to deal with responsibilities.

Last week was a bad week for me. Preschool called me on Wednesday to let me know that my daughter had a fever and I needed to pick her up. Which also meant that she would not be at school the following day since the policy is that a child has to be fever free for 24 hours. So I knew I would miss work on Thursday. So I thought I would kill 2 birds with 1 stone. My van has needed to be worked on for some time now. So I got in the garage on Thursday and thought I would be able to pick it up Thursday night. Well, it was not ready. So I ended up missing work a half a day on Friday until I got a ride to pick my van up. (which is still not right). So I ended up missing 2 full days of work. Ugghhh !!!!!

So see, I don't have much compassion for someone that does not get it. For someone that is willing to let the other parent take the hardship without thinking twice about it. He really has no clue.

On another note, I am going out with someone I have known for about 4 years this coming weekend. It's been awhile since I have seen him. We have stayed in touch all these years and thought it might be a good thing to get out together.... We'll see how it goes.

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The sadness in her eyes.....

I was at my sons football game yesterday.... (Yes, I plan on putting some pictures up). And one of the moms started talking with me. I introduced myself to her and shook her hand. She seemed nice enough. But as soon as she started talking, I could smell all this alcohol coming from her. Then she began commenting on how my little girl was soo pretty and how her little girl was... Let's see, her exact words were "the devil". OMG, I was shocked to hear any mother say that their child was the devil.

I understand that we all get frustrated and that our kids learn to push our buttons. And I even know that we allow it. Well, I do. And I also know that my daughter IS very hard. She is set in her way. She will do things her way, even if it's wrong, not wanting any help. I've told my friends how she is. But I have not said any of this in front of her. I could not imagine saying such hurtful things to my children.

Well, as we were leaving, this lady came up to me with her little daughter. She had to be about 7 or 8 years old. She turned to look at me and the mother introduced her daughter to me as her "little devil". And then started telling me how she does not listen and disobeys her and that she was the perfect child, then saying that she could only wish. I stood there watching this little girl, looking at her mom, with such sadness. The little girl did not say anything. Not a word. She was just looking up at her mom, as if wondering why her mom did not love her. She had such sadness in her eyes. I can't explain it.

I did not know what to say or do... How to react. I just walked to the girl and put my arms around her and rubbing her back, looking at the mother and telling her that she had a beautiful little girl who will be just fine.

Obviously this bothers me. I am still thinking about it today. And I wish I had said different things to the mother. I really wanted to shake the mother and ask her if she really could not see what she was doing to her daughter? But I didn't. I really wanted to hug that little girl, not just rub her back. And tell her that she is perfect the way she is. But I didn't.

I am not the perfect mom. I make alot of mistakes. But I have a great relationship with my son As far as him telling me things. He is always talking with me about things that he does not want this person to know or that person to know. I want him to be able to come to me with anything and I want him to know it's ok. Lately he has been going through this mouthy thing. But I remember it. I used to do it. Anything I ask him is "in a minute" or "not just yet". The only real complaint I have about my son is all this football and wrestling stuff he takes out on his sister. Now, she is growing into a mini wrestler/football player.

My children are blessings. I may not feel that or think that every day but I do know. I am lucky to have my kids. And it is because of them that I strive for so much more. That I check myself to make sure that I am giving them My attention.... My heart.... My positive words... My unconditional love.

To all the little boys and girls that have looked up to their mother or father and been spoken down to as if they were no good..... As the tears roll down my cheeks , I give you all a hug from me. Someone you don't even know does care about you and how you feel.

I now know the secret.

A friend of mine had burned a dvd for me. It was called "The Secret". So I put it in my dvd player, and I can honestly say that I was intrigued. I could not stop watching it. So now I am telling everyone about it. I just can't stop.

It's like this. I have always been a lucky person. And in spite of past bad things, I have always been able to remain positive. But when I watched this dvd, I had a light bulb moment.

As I have said in past posts, I do believe that you create your future. If you are negative, you will create negative. But it was not until I watched this dvd that I REALLY understood this process.

I found that with the way things have been going lately, I have been thinking negative. My daughters donor has up and moved. So not only has he NOT been paying child support for sooo many months, he up and moved. LUCKILY, I know how to search. And I found that he is living in Garfield Heights. Yet, child support has to serve him papers in person for contempt of court. And since I don't have a street address (yet) there is nothing they can do.

My van has been giving me problems lately. And I just can't seem to catch a break.

I do now see that if you continue to think about the negative, the bad that is happening, that only creates more negative.... Bad things to happen. The goal is to take those negative things that have happened and somehow, turn them into something positive. Because then you can FEEL positive for the way you are thinking. You need to have your feelings in-tune with your thoughts. You can't be thinking " Ohh my god, how am I going to pay this bill" and feeling good about it. It does not work. You also can't be thinking "Ohh well, what's one more bill" and then think to yourself, "how am I gonna pay this"?

Your thoughts NEED to be the same as your feelings, in order for this to work.

I am also a believer that you can heal yourself. Even with something as terminal as cancer, I believe that as long as you stay positive in your thoughts, and in your heart, you can heal yourself. And this is something close to me since cancer does run in my family.

So that's all I have tonight. Go out and rent "The Secret". See if it makes a different for you.
Good luck trying to get it though, I hear everyone is out.

The struggles of single parenting.....

A friend of mine, Marilyn had wrote this article. And I wanted to share it with everyone. Being a parent IS the toughest job in the world. Now I'm sure we can all agree on that. We are not given an instruction manual or a "how to" book. However, if you are a good parent, you really won't need those anyway. LOL

A single mom does have it even a little tougher. And I am referring to the REAL single moms. The moms that don't have a partner in their life. (whether you choose to have it that way or not). I choose it that way for a reason. I am determined to create my future. And I will do it by myself. As I have stated in previous posts, I will not let anyone stand in my way. Which is my choice. After I create what I want, and where I want to be, then I will put myself out there and date again. LOL

Managing time is a little hard. There just is not enough time in a day to get everything done that needs to be done. But I keep at it every day.

I just want the single moms to know that there is light at the end of your tunnel. Whatever you are striving for, don't lose faith in your goal, your dream. Keep focused and take it as each day comes. Just believe and don't give up.


Marilyns Story

I wish I had the opportunity to work from home while I was working and raising my children. Looking back, I really don’t know how I managed a full time job, softball games, Girl Scouts, swimming lessons, dance classes and so on. If you are reading this you know that there are not enough hours in a day to do all of these things and then have time to really enjoy your children. In today’s society if you walk up to a woman and ask what is her career, if the answer is," I’m a stay-at-home mom" people might tend to look down on her. But if she is a working mom, they ask, how do you do it all? This happens to many women and it makes it harder for them to choose between their children and work. The advantages for a stay-at-home mother are a tremendous feeling of fulfillment, the thought of being important and needed. The gratification she receives from knowing she is giving her children a strong moral foundation and a pleasure of giving as well as seeing her children grow, and being an integral part of their lives. There are also conflicts for that stay-at-home mom. She may not have a sense of fulfillment, feeling her life is limited and she is trapped. She may also feel that being at home makes her lose her "self" and not having a high self-worth. My children are grown and married now but I feel that I need to help other Christian Stay at Home Mothers and Grandmothers and Boomers nurture the children who will change the world. We are a group of Christian Mothers, Stay at Home Moms, Working Moms, Single mothers and WAHMs coming together for support and encouragement.


Thank you for sharing Marilyn.

Enough is Enough.

Talk about a black cloud hanging over someone..... That's me, right now! I don't get it. I am a good person with a good heart. I help anyone and everyone out when I can. I was ALWAYS the person someone came to. But lately, I am being tested way more.

I have heard the saying and know the saying very well....."You are never given more than you can handle" or "You are just being tested to see how strong you are". Well, I think I have proven that I am REALLY strong and will keep going on. After my childhood (I will get into at a later date) after getting custody of my brother and sister, helping to raise my step son, getting a divorce, working 2 jobs to keep my house, (only to end up losing it down the road) splitting up with my sons father, enduring a very messy custody battle, having my daughters father just up and quit work and not pay child support, all the problems with my van lately...... ENOUGH..... I am still moving on, frustrated, but moving on.

If you ever feel like you will never get out from under the black cloud, just know that there is someone in your life that you can turn to.... Someone you may never expect.... There is someone there for everyone. You may not even know it until you have to ask for help. There was someone there for me, I did ask and I did receive.

Ok, on a happier note....LOL I am planning on putting up some pics of my brother and ,myself when we were little.... The resemblance of my brother and my son when they were both the same age is astonishing....As well as my daughter and myself when I was her age.... WOW ! I will get the pics up soon....

To everyone, have a good night.