Spring is here and what better way to enjoy and appreciate those lovely spring days outdoors with your children than blowing bubbles! Kids Craft Recipe for Homemade Bubbles:
Giant Bubbles
3 cups water
1 cup dishwashing liquid or baby shampoo
1/3 cup light corn syrup
Mix all together in a large bowl. Instead of using dishwashing liquid, I use Baby Shampoo. This won't sting children's eyes if the bubbles splatter in their eyes.
Homemade Bubble Wands
1.Classic coat hanger wand:
Bend a wire hanger into a circle and handle. Wrap the circle with string. Dipping container: Upside down trash can lid.
2.Giant Soap Bubble Wand:
Use 2 drinking straws, and a length of string, about 48 inches long. Thread the string through both of the straws, and knot the ends. Pour the bubble solution in a square or rectangular shaped pan. Lay the straws and string down in the soap solution. Gently lift up the straws, one in each hand. Spread the straws apart as you lift, and a giant bubble will form. Wave your arms across in the air and the bubble will be set free, to float up and away.
Shampoo Paint
6 Tbsp shampoowaterMix shampoo with a small amount of water and beat with an electric mixer. The shampoo should become like shaving cream. If it is too thick, add more water. If it is too runny, add more shampoo. This is great fun for kids to play with in the bath tub. For more spring activity and craft ideas for kids, visit www.create-kids-crafts.com.
Article Source: http://www.thewahmshack.com/articledirectory
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
So what is it about working from home?
Working from home, Entrepreneur, home-based business... You hear alot of hype about working from home. It all sounds glamorous and easy to do. But it's much harder than one thinks.
There's alot to consider :
1) Before I even speak in detail with someone, I ask them "WHY". Why do you want to work from home? This is very important for me to know. If you don't have a defined "why" you want to work at home, odds are you will not succeed in working at home. Your reason to work at home HAS to be stronger than your reason not to. There has to be drive, determination and persistence. Without it, you will not succeed.
2) Determine if you are looking to work from home full time or part time. Not all work at home opportunities are full time. So make sure that the company you are looking into can accommodate your desired hours of work.
3) When looking into companies that you are considering to work for, check the BBB (better business bureau) on each company. But here's the thing. You need to know what state that company is located in. And then you call the BBB in that state. I have heard a few people tell me that they called the BBB in the state that they live in, not the state that the company is located in. And they were given incorrect information. The BBB has the ability to make or break a company.
Key items to check on when contacting the BBB:
A) How long has the company been in business?
B) Has the company previously been under a different name? If yes, I suggest staying away. There's a reason.
C) Has the company filed bankruptcy before?
D) Has the company growth continuously grown positive?
E) Has the company moved around?
F) Has the company had the same phone number and for how long?
*** Understand this... It is impossible for a company to make every person happy. And if a company should have some negative feedback, how can you say that it's the fault of the company? What if someone worked for "company A" but did not have the drive, determination, skills, ability, time... What if life just got in the way and that person gave up on the company. Now this person is going to leave negative feedback on "company A", when it was not the companies fault. ***
4) Depending on the business that you are working, you will want to make sure that you have the main necessities. Computer, printer, fax, (there is a online fax service available), copier, highlighters (great for color coding procedures), business cards, paper, notebooks, daily planner, monthly whiteboard with erasable markers, promotional items, and the list goes on and on.
5) Create a work schedule and stick with it. Designate the time you want to work your business and write it down. Let everyone know that this is when you will be working and treat it as that, (work). Now believe me, I know this can be difficult. Especially if you are a single parent and you have younger children. You may only be able to work 20 minutes here, 15 minutes there..... But it will become routine. And I believe in letting my kids help me out as well as setting time aside just for my kids. This is definitely give and take for everyone involved.
6) Stay focused and motivated. Knows your "WHY".
7) Create a goal chart and hang it above your work area. That way you can see it everyday. I picked up a poster board. I used one half of the board and wrote down the goals that I have and the date that they will be achieved. Then on the right side of the poster board, I have pictures cut out and pasted on the board. If you are a visual person, this is great.... Maybe you have your dream house, washer and dryer, a certain landscaped lawn, a car, a picture of the ocean.... Whatever you desire, find a picture of it and put it up on your board.
8) Utilize all the tools that are available for your business. Don't limit yourself. Dip into everything your company has... Become an asset.
9) If you have to talk on the phone, STAND UP..... Take posture. Don't sit and slouch because that does come through over the phone.
10) Keep yourself in check. This is your company. Would you hire or fire yourself? Would you want to work with someone like yourself ?
Source: Cindy Ashworth @ www.successfulwahm.blogspot.com and http://www.mykidsmywhy.com/
Ok, I hope some of this can help. Feel free to use this source but it MUST be linked back to me. Cindy Ashworth is a WAHM on a part time basis and can be found at : http://www.successfulwahm.blogspot.com and www.mykidsmywhy.com . Yes, this is original and I wrote it. LOL...
There's alot to consider :
1) Before I even speak in detail with someone, I ask them "WHY". Why do you want to work from home? This is very important for me to know. If you don't have a defined "why" you want to work at home, odds are you will not succeed in working at home. Your reason to work at home HAS to be stronger than your reason not to. There has to be drive, determination and persistence. Without it, you will not succeed.
2) Determine if you are looking to work from home full time or part time. Not all work at home opportunities are full time. So make sure that the company you are looking into can accommodate your desired hours of work.
3) When looking into companies that you are considering to work for, check the BBB (better business bureau) on each company. But here's the thing. You need to know what state that company is located in. And then you call the BBB in that state. I have heard a few people tell me that they called the BBB in the state that they live in, not the state that the company is located in. And they were given incorrect information. The BBB has the ability to make or break a company.
Key items to check on when contacting the BBB:
A) How long has the company been in business?
B) Has the company previously been under a different name? If yes, I suggest staying away. There's a reason.
C) Has the company filed bankruptcy before?
D) Has the company growth continuously grown positive?
E) Has the company moved around?
F) Has the company had the same phone number and for how long?
*** Understand this... It is impossible for a company to make every person happy. And if a company should have some negative feedback, how can you say that it's the fault of the company? What if someone worked for "company A" but did not have the drive, determination, skills, ability, time... What if life just got in the way and that person gave up on the company. Now this person is going to leave negative feedback on "company A", when it was not the companies fault. ***
4) Depending on the business that you are working, you will want to make sure that you have the main necessities. Computer, printer, fax, (there is a online fax service available), copier, highlighters (great for color coding procedures), business cards, paper, notebooks, daily planner, monthly whiteboard with erasable markers, promotional items, and the list goes on and on.
5) Create a work schedule and stick with it. Designate the time you want to work your business and write it down. Let everyone know that this is when you will be working and treat it as that, (work). Now believe me, I know this can be difficult. Especially if you are a single parent and you have younger children. You may only be able to work 20 minutes here, 15 minutes there..... But it will become routine. And I believe in letting my kids help me out as well as setting time aside just for my kids. This is definitely give and take for everyone involved.
6) Stay focused and motivated. Knows your "WHY".
7) Create a goal chart and hang it above your work area. That way you can see it everyday. I picked up a poster board. I used one half of the board and wrote down the goals that I have and the date that they will be achieved. Then on the right side of the poster board, I have pictures cut out and pasted on the board. If you are a visual person, this is great.... Maybe you have your dream house, washer and dryer, a certain landscaped lawn, a car, a picture of the ocean.... Whatever you desire, find a picture of it and put it up on your board.
8) Utilize all the tools that are available for your business. Don't limit yourself. Dip into everything your company has... Become an asset.
9) If you have to talk on the phone, STAND UP..... Take posture. Don't sit and slouch because that does come through over the phone.
10) Keep yourself in check. This is your company. Would you hire or fire yourself? Would you want to work with someone like yourself ?
Source: Cindy Ashworth @ www.successfulwahm.blogspot.com and http://www.mykidsmywhy.com/
Ok, I hope some of this can help. Feel free to use this source but it MUST be linked back to me. Cindy Ashworth is a WAHM on a part time basis and can be found at : http://www.successfulwahm.blogspot.com and www.mykidsmywhy.com . Yes, this is original and I wrote it. LOL...
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
My Business
After a little talk with a friend of mine. (Thanks Ron), I have decided to take the pictures of my kids down, just leaving the 1 picture of us up.... Which has come to be my signature on my blog as well as my website.
The purpose of this blog was designed for my work and to help others look at all the options of working at home full time or part time.
What started out for business, turned into a little personal as well... I don't know how people blog strictly business without getting a little personal.
Which has led to my decision that I will create a personal blog.... Where all the juicy details shall be.... LOL... But I will keep this one focused on Business.
If I seem to be adding alot of single moms stuff to this blog, that's because I am a single mom and if I come across resources that can possibly help another single mom, I will put it up.
With all the traffic that I get here, I want to continue with what I started this for.... And try do do a much better job at it.
Thanks to everyone that comes... And if you look for the personal side of me.. Just hang in there... I will get my personal blog going and add the link to it from here.
The purpose of this blog was designed for my work and to help others look at all the options of working at home full time or part time.
What started out for business, turned into a little personal as well... I don't know how people blog strictly business without getting a little personal.
Which has led to my decision that I will create a personal blog.... Where all the juicy details shall be.... LOL... But I will keep this one focused on Business.
If I seem to be adding alot of single moms stuff to this blog, that's because I am a single mom and if I come across resources that can possibly help another single mom, I will put it up.
With all the traffic that I get here, I want to continue with what I started this for.... And try do do a much better job at it.
Thanks to everyone that comes... And if you look for the personal side of me.. Just hang in there... I will get my personal blog going and add the link to it from here.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
My overall review of the Bahamas
This was years ago when we went to the Bahamas. What a trip it was. I remember taking a bus (travel bus) to the beach.... I remember the driver telling us not o stay out in the sun longer than 20 minutes at a time...And I was thinking "we are at a beach, what's the problem"? Well, the pictures do not do justice..... I was fried.
In the pic of me sitting, it hurt to even sit... My hands were even fried. We even had hotel staff come in and rub us down with vinegar. They said the vinegar takes the stinging out from the burn. And everyone that knows me, knows that I CAN'T stand the smell of vinegar... LOL.
Just look at how my ex-husband turned out...... LMAO.
In the pic of me sitting, it hurt to even sit... My hands were even fried. We even had hotel staff come in and rub us down with vinegar. They said the vinegar takes the stinging out from the burn. And everyone that knows me, knows that I CAN'T stand the smell of vinegar... LOL.
Just look at how my ex-husband turned out...... LMAO.
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Friday, March 21, 2008
Let's Celebrate Easter
Many people are wondering what Easter actually means, as the true meaning of Easter has been lost. What I can tell you is it isn’t about cute little fluffy chickens, nor does it have anything to do with Easter bunnies. It isn’t even about Easter eggs. Although an egg can represent ‘new life’ because new life hatches from the egg, and Jesus was resurrected on the third day – giving us new life in Him. But just like Christmas, the real meaning has been forgotten. For those of us that are Christians, we understand what Easter is all about. But for those that haven’t experienced this ‘new life’ in Jesus, I want to share with you the Easter story.
In Old Testament times, the priest would bring bulls, goats or a spotless lamb without any blemishes to be sacrificed as a sin offering for himself and for the people. The blood would purify and make atonement (forgive, make amends) for their sins. This was the old order of atonement. When Jesus came, He was a representation of the sacrificial lamb to take away the sins of the world. He was the final sacrifice. We no longer have to sacrifice animals to make atonement for our sins. Jesus has done this once and for all. It’s His blood that cleanses us from all sin. He was crucified on the cross (the form of execution in those days). The sin of the world was upon Him, yet, he was without sin and blameless. He bore it all. This is why Jesus is referred to as the ‘Lamb of God’. He was bodily resurrected (came back to life) on the third day. He appeared to many – eating and drinking with them. He appeared to them for 40 days, then ascended (went up to) Heaven.Acts 1: 1-11
Be sure to read the Crucifixion story and the Resurrection story from the Bible.
In Old Testament times, the priest would bring bulls, goats or a spotless lamb without any blemishes to be sacrificed as a sin offering for himself and for the people. The blood would purify and make atonement (forgive, make amends) for their sins. This was the old order of atonement. When Jesus came, He was a representation of the sacrificial lamb to take away the sins of the world. He was the final sacrifice. We no longer have to sacrifice animals to make atonement for our sins. Jesus has done this once and for all. It’s His blood that cleanses us from all sin. He was crucified on the cross (the form of execution in those days). The sin of the world was upon Him, yet, he was without sin and blameless. He bore it all. This is why Jesus is referred to as the ‘Lamb of God’. He was bodily resurrected (came back to life) on the third day. He appeared to many – eating and drinking with them. He appeared to them for 40 days, then ascended (went up to) Heaven.Acts 1: 1-11
Be sure to read the Crucifixion story and the Resurrection story from the Bible.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Don't Forget. My Kids Website Is Up And Running.
If you are looking for Inexpensive Advertising, Free Advertising, Our Ultimate Job Finder, Networking, Articles, Resources, Plug Board, and Much More......Don't forget to visit:
Sunday, March 16, 2008
How Great Is Our God.....
Ok,
So I have noticed something missing for a little while now. I stopped going to church. It's been way too long. I work my home business alot on Sundays and try and keep up with my blog and website, plus make time for my kids.
Again I am having to re-prioritize. But this is something I need to do.....Church is tugging at me. God is tugging at me. And I am listening.
I wanted to throw out a couple songs that WILL move you. If you are able to find these songs and listen to them, you will be moved. I have not figured out how to add audio to my blog... Bare with me, If I can, I will....So the first song is by: Chris Tomlin - How Great Is Our God. And if you want the lyrics, here you go..
After listening, tell me you don't feel the tears welling up in your eyes. How can you not ? I blubber throughout the whole song (LOL). And my kids remember these songs from church. They will get up and start dancing around. If you are looking for a catchy, uplifting song that can't help but get you up and moving around... Try: Newsboys - He Reigns. And you can get the lyrics here.
And the last song of the evening is by: Brian Doerksen and Wendy Whitehead... The song is called: Come, Now is the time to worship. And here are the lyrics.
So I have noticed something missing for a little while now. I stopped going to church. It's been way too long. I work my home business alot on Sundays and try and keep up with my blog and website, plus make time for my kids.
Again I am having to re-prioritize. But this is something I need to do.....Church is tugging at me. God is tugging at me. And I am listening.
I wanted to throw out a couple songs that WILL move you. If you are able to find these songs and listen to them, you will be moved. I have not figured out how to add audio to my blog... Bare with me, If I can, I will....So the first song is by: Chris Tomlin - How Great Is Our God. And if you want the lyrics, here you go..
After listening, tell me you don't feel the tears welling up in your eyes. How can you not ? I blubber throughout the whole song (LOL). And my kids remember these songs from church. They will get up and start dancing around. If you are looking for a catchy, uplifting song that can't help but get you up and moving around... Try: Newsboys - He Reigns. And you can get the lyrics here.
And the last song of the evening is by: Brian Doerksen and Wendy Whitehead... The song is called: Come, Now is the time to worship. And here are the lyrics.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Health Hazard Warnings!!!
Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) studies have shown that indoor air pollutants are 3 to 70 times higher than outdoors!
The United States of America Federal Code of Regulations exempts manufacturers from full labeling of products if used for personal, family or household care. [Source USA FCR: Section 1910.1200C, Title 29, Section 1500.82 2Q1A]
Out of 2,435 pesticide poisonings in a one-year period, over 40% were due to exposure to disinfectants and similar cleaning products in the home. [Source: State of California Study]
Household bleaches which claim to disinfect are classified as pesticides under the Federal Hazardous Substances Act. Inadvertently mixing bleach with other cleaners that contain ammonia produces a toxic chloramines gas. These toxic gases can cause coughing, loss of voice, a feeling of burning or suffocation, and even death. [Source: Guide to Hazardous Products Around the Home, Household Hazardous Waste Project, 1989]
Formaldehyde is a highly toxic substance. (also used to embalm dead people). It is a known cancer-causing agent. It damages the neurological connectors in the body. It is an irritant to the eyes, nose, throat and lungs and may cause: skin reactions, ear infections, headaches, depression, asthma, joint pain, dizziness, mental confusion, nausea, disorientation, phlebitis, fatigue, vomiting, sleep disturbances, and laryngitis.
One in five people are sensitive to formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is commonly found in:
drugs, mouthwash, hairspray, cosmetics, cleaning products, perfumes, waxes, shampoo, hair setting lotions, air fresheners, fungicides, floor polishes, dry cleaning solvents, fingernail polish, laundry spray starch, toothpaste and antiperspirants.
Warning labels on containers refer only to toxic hazards from ingestion; however, only 10% of health problems from chemicals are caused by ingestion. 90% are caused by the inhalation of vapors and absorption of particles.
The United States of America Federal Code of Regulations exempts manufacturers from full labeling of products if used for personal, family or household care. [Source USA FCR: Section 1910.1200C, Title 29, Section 1500.82 2Q1A]
Out of 2,435 pesticide poisonings in a one-year period, over 40% were due to exposure to disinfectants and similar cleaning products in the home. [Source: State of California Study]
Household bleaches which claim to disinfect are classified as pesticides under the Federal Hazardous Substances Act. Inadvertently mixing bleach with other cleaners that contain ammonia produces a toxic chloramines gas. These toxic gases can cause coughing, loss of voice, a feeling of burning or suffocation, and even death. [Source: Guide to Hazardous Products Around the Home, Household Hazardous Waste Project, 1989]
Formaldehyde is a highly toxic substance. (also used to embalm dead people). It is a known cancer-causing agent. It damages the neurological connectors in the body. It is an irritant to the eyes, nose, throat and lungs and may cause: skin reactions, ear infections, headaches, depression, asthma, joint pain, dizziness, mental confusion, nausea, disorientation, phlebitis, fatigue, vomiting, sleep disturbances, and laryngitis.
One in five people are sensitive to formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is commonly found in:
drugs, mouthwash, hairspray, cosmetics, cleaning products, perfumes, waxes, shampoo, hair setting lotions, air fresheners, fungicides, floor polishes, dry cleaning solvents, fingernail polish, laundry spray starch, toothpaste and antiperspirants.
Warning labels on containers refer only to toxic hazards from ingestion; however, only 10% of health problems from chemicals are caused by ingestion. 90% are caused by the inhalation of vapors and absorption of particles.
Friday, March 14, 2008
The Afghan Hound....
The sophisticated Afghan Hound. A very intelligent dog.
I was searching on the net for some pics so you can at least see the kind of dog that I am referring to.
OMG, it's been so long.... LOL... I can't even remember the colors they they refer to. I know there is brindle, cream, black and tan....
This color of the afghan is called Black and Tan. This was exactly like the last afghan I had.
I have always loved the Afghan Hound. Maybe because I grew up with them and that is the only kind of dog we ever had.
My mom was really into showing and breeding. Before I knew it, I found myself out there as a young girl showing them as well. I'm really having to think back a few years (more like 25 years) and remember some of the terms they used. (Stack).... I believe that is when you place the dog in a certain stance. I wish I had the photo album of all the ribbons that I received from showing. Alot of 1st and 2nd places plus others. Iit's been sooo long.
I would love to get another afghan. They are great with kids. Great personality, temperment, very loyal. Just beautiful dogs.
Maybe I will have my afghan sitting next to me in my Mustang (mach1 ) in the near future.
I was searching on the net for some pics so you can at least see the kind of dog that I am referring to.
OMG, it's been so long.... LOL... I can't even remember the colors they they refer to. I know there is brindle, cream, black and tan....
This color of the afghan is called Black and Tan. This was exactly like the last afghan I had.
I have always loved the Afghan Hound. Maybe because I grew up with them and that is the only kind of dog we ever had.
My mom was really into showing and breeding. Before I knew it, I found myself out there as a young girl showing them as well. I'm really having to think back a few years (more like 25 years) and remember some of the terms they used. (Stack).... I believe that is when you place the dog in a certain stance. I wish I had the photo album of all the ribbons that I received from showing. Alot of 1st and 2nd places plus others. Iit's been sooo long.
I would love to get another afghan. They are great with kids. Great personality, temperment, very loyal. Just beautiful dogs.
Maybe I will have my afghan sitting next to me in my Mustang (mach1 ) in the near future.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
When I Was Married...
Back in the day... (way back) when I was married, I was so different than I am today. Everything was different.
Let's see.... I was about 22 when I got married. We lived together about 1 year before we took the plunge. We saved for a down payment on our first house. We worked together and then would go home together. I let the title Wife and Step Mother define who I was.
I fit the wife role pretty good, I thought. We would come home and I would make dinner, clean up after dinner and straighten up the house. I was the ruler of the house. I was definitely too picky. I did not realize it then. The towels had to be stacked a certain way, the silverware had to be a certain way... Everything had to be a certain way... (my way). And my husband allowed me to take on this role and everything that had to do with it. I would wash floors on my hands and knees (that was the correct way to do it) (so I thought) and if there was one speck of dirt anywhere, that meant that I would have to start all over and clean from top to bottom again.
My husband had a 8 year old son and I would leave the parenting up to my husband. I was only 22 which is probably why I was not crazy about the idea of him having a child. In the beginning there was resentment on both of our parts. Now looking back, I can say that he felt as thought I was taking time away from him and his dad. And I guess I was since I was in the family as well. it used to be just him and his dad. Now his dad remarried me and his son had to deal with new adjustments, rules and yes, ME.... Back then, I was difficult. LOL.. Well, more than I am now.
So, I began resenting the son because he took time away from my husband and myself. The son began resenting me because I took time away from him and his dad. Also, I used my wife/step mom role to my advantage. If there was something I did not like or agree with, I would go and tell the father and he would discipline the son. At first, I felt it was working. Until I realized that the son began resenting me even more. Which eventually led to my husband feeling worn down.... Tired of being in this feud between myself and his son. All my husband wanted was for us to all get along. But there was a deeper resentment building deep inside both myself and the son.
Years had passed and I was taking on more responsibility with my step son. At this point and time he had come to us and told us that he had been taking drugs for along time and felt that he needed help. So we enrolled him in a program and since my husband was working longer hours, I would be the one to take my step son to his meetings and then pick him up.
I think this was a transformation period. It was needed for myself and my step son. The drives to his meetings and back gave us alot of time to talk and really open up with each other. Then he said he wanted to start going to AA (alcoholics anonymous) but since he was a minor and his father did not want to go, I stepped up and began going with him to support him. His dad did come a couple times but that was it. After months of these meetings, I found that we were getting really close. And I began to really care about my step son. About his well-being and his life.
More time passed and my strictness of how the household should be ran did not stop. Everything was ran a certain way. I was very active in my step sons life. His football and schooling. Yes, he was with us 90 % of the time. Running a household as if it is your household is a silent killer. We begin thinking that our spouse and the child could not get along without us. That they need us. But the reality is they were managing fine before we came into the picture and TOOK OVER.
Eventually we got divorced. However, my step son would still come by and visit me even after his dad and I split. I was able to make things right between us. Are you?
Today I can say that I am not that same military style, dictator, house ruler that I used to be. And it's because I have children of my own. You really don't get it until you have kids of your own. Kids allow you to priortize what is really important verses what is just annoying. For some reason, it no longer matters which way the towels are stacked. What really matters is if there are clean towels to grab.... LOL. If one of my kids break a knick knack of mine, it is more important to show them that it is ok and life will go on instead of showing them that it's the end of the world. It's replaceable. It's a thing. They are more important.
*** Tip*** If you run your household like this... Military style....The results may be the results you don't want. Can people pick up a knick knack and hold it or will you snap and panick inside before you blurt "put it down" ! If someone steps on the unforbidden carpet, do you immediately yell at them ? Alternative: (jokingly) " hey there buddy, back up and get those shoes off". How we react to situations is what lays the foundation.
Some very common mistakes that step parents make..... By the way, the definition of a step mom is: the wife of one's father, who is not the mother of the person spoken of.
Common Mistakes Made By Step Parents
1) Do not go tattle tailing to the parent on the child. (this is over petty things, such as not taking your shoes off right away, not picking a towel up right away... anything that was not fast enough for you). Pick your battles. Some things are not worth it. If it's petty, let it be. If you continue tattle tailing on the child to the parent, each time you do that, you are leaving a question, a form of doubt in that parents head. Eventually, the real parent is going to get fed up with all the crap... And hopefully, if the parent is a good parent, will explain that the child is that..... A child! And remind the step parent that they are the adult. So act like it and stop tattle tailing.
Remember, the child came first..... Way before the step parent did. And could possibly be arranged that way again.
2) Do not step in and assume the parent role. You are not the parent. You are the significant other. The child already has parents that are hopefully living up to their role.
3) Trust.... Trust goes both ways. The child needs to feel as though they can trust you. If you continue to pull the step parent rank over the child (dictating rules, tattle tailing, talking negatively about the child to the parent when you think the child can't hear...the child will resent you. Which will lead to more problems... And eventually, problems in the relationship. Trust is something truly earned. Not just given. The step parent needs to prove to the child that they can be trusted and are worthy of that trust.
4) Be a friend to the child. Just because this person is younger, they do have feelings. Children have great perception. They can see things that adults don't see. How do you treat your friends? Are you courteous? Polite? Funny? Can your friends come to you with a problem? Now think of the child. Do you just dictate? Tattle tail? Ignore the child? Walk past the child as if they are nothing? Do you lay the foundation for the child so he or she knows that they can come to you and that you REALLY care about them? Or does the child feel like an outsider in their own home?
Imagine being in love with your partner... You can see no wrong in this person. yet, every time you leave the room, this person is giving your child dirty looks. The child knows very well what's going on. But, of course the parent does not. They are way up on cloud 9 thinking everything is beautiful. The child tried to go the parent and explain how they feel, but after several attempts of failure, the child begins to feel unimportant and that they are no longer the apple in their parents eye. You will be setting up this child to have resentments towards you and the step parent. The child should be able to go to the parent with a concern without having the step parent right there.
5) Don't be sooo picky. If you find a sock in your silverware drawer, don't go off the deep end. Think to yourself how lucky you are that there is a child in your life in which that sock belongs to. And that you have an already made family to enjoy. You did not have to do the hard work of giving birth. Yet, you can sit back and reap the rewards. Besides, if you can go off the deep end over shoes not being taken off, or clothes not being picked up, then you are missing the big picture.
Some Common Mistakes By Parents
1) Take the blinders off. Well first, you have to realize that you have them on. Then make a conscious effort to pay attention to your partner.... How they treat their friends and behave... then compare it to how they treat and behave with your child. Is there a difference in behavior? Do they open the door for a friend and let the door shut on the child?
2) Keep that one on one time with your child. If you did special things together alone previously, and now you are ALWAYS including the step parent, then the child has no sense of the ways things used to be. That quality time you shared before someone came in and messed it all up (in their eyes) and took you away from them.
3) Allow your child to speak. Even though they are children, being able to come to the parent with something that bothers them is the foundation for a great long term relationship.
4) Don't prove yourself . If the step parent is always coming to you about something that the child did..... Don't feel the need to jump on the child in order to prove to the step parent that they matter. If it is something petty, tell the step parent that it's just that.... Petty. You don't need to say something to the child every time the significant other comes to you with a gripe.
Some food for thought:
If your step child had to be the one to talk about you at your funeral, what do you think they would say about you?
Don't sweat the small stuff. Kids are kids. Try and remember, we were kids as well. And ask yourself, does this child really do terrible things? Or is what the child is doing just annoying you? There is a difference.
If you ever need priortizing in your life, just have a couple of kids... They show you what is really important. LOL
Treat children the way you want to be treated. SIMPLE!
Just some perosnal experience along with my feelings on this issue.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Single Parents Day...March 21st
Single Parents' Day takes place each year on March 21. Simply put, it's a day set aside to honor and applaud the hard work single parents do each and every day in raising their children.
According to Mary Anne Britton, the International Vice President of Membership for Parents Without Partners, Single Parents' Day is a day for "honoring the single parent who is basically doing double duty" and "giving them some respect."
When Did Single Parents' Day Begin?: The idea for Single Parents' Day began back in 1984 with an article written by Janice Moglen, a single mother of two who hoped that Single Parents' Day might one day gain the recognition many associate with both Mother's Day and Father's Day. In collaboration with the organization Parents Without Partners, Moglen began to petition individual states to declare their own recognition of Single Parents' Day.It is believed that the day, March 21, was chosen to coincide with the inception of Parents Without Partners, which began 50 years ago, on March 21, 1957.
Why Set Aside a Separate Day?: While some may conclude that Single Parents' Day is just a variation of Mother's Day and Father's Day, it is actually much more than that. Single Parents' Day is an opportunity for the children of single parent families to recognize the sacrifices both of their parents make to provide for their needs, collaborate with one another, and maintain a stable home environment where the children can thrive. It is also an opportunity for single parents themselves to celebrate their efforts and achievements.
Increased Awareness: Single Parents' Day is also an opportunity to raise awareness about the determination and strength shown by the more than 14 million single parents who are raising children in the U.S. today. Britton notes that "Many single parents aren't even putting themselves in 2nd or 3rd place" as they work to raise their kids, "making sure they have the same opportunities as dual family units." While there is tremendous joy in the task, it is also a lot to bear all on your own, and it's time that we applaud the individuals who are up to the task, instead of tearing them down with negative propaganda.
Support Single Parents' Day: Since its inception, both national and state proclamations in support of Single Parents' Day have been sporadic. You can play a role in changing that trend by requesting that both local and national leaders issue a proclamation in support of Single Parents' Day this March 21.
Please visit : http://singleparents.about.com/od/holidays/p/single_21_march.htm for more info
Source: Jennifer Wolf @ http://singleparents.about.com/od/holidays/p/single_21_march.htm
According to Mary Anne Britton, the International Vice President of Membership for Parents Without Partners, Single Parents' Day is a day for "honoring the single parent who is basically doing double duty" and "giving them some respect."
When Did Single Parents' Day Begin?: The idea for Single Parents' Day began back in 1984 with an article written by Janice Moglen, a single mother of two who hoped that Single Parents' Day might one day gain the recognition many associate with both Mother's Day and Father's Day. In collaboration with the organization Parents Without Partners, Moglen began to petition individual states to declare their own recognition of Single Parents' Day.It is believed that the day, March 21, was chosen to coincide with the inception of Parents Without Partners, which began 50 years ago, on March 21, 1957.
Why Set Aside a Separate Day?: While some may conclude that Single Parents' Day is just a variation of Mother's Day and Father's Day, it is actually much more than that. Single Parents' Day is an opportunity for the children of single parent families to recognize the sacrifices both of their parents make to provide for their needs, collaborate with one another, and maintain a stable home environment where the children can thrive. It is also an opportunity for single parents themselves to celebrate their efforts and achievements.
Increased Awareness: Single Parents' Day is also an opportunity to raise awareness about the determination and strength shown by the more than 14 million single parents who are raising children in the U.S. today. Britton notes that "Many single parents aren't even putting themselves in 2nd or 3rd place" as they work to raise their kids, "making sure they have the same opportunities as dual family units." While there is tremendous joy in the task, it is also a lot to bear all on your own, and it's time that we applaud the individuals who are up to the task, instead of tearing them down with negative propaganda.
Support Single Parents' Day: Since its inception, both national and state proclamations in support of Single Parents' Day have been sporadic. You can play a role in changing that trend by requesting that both local and national leaders issue a proclamation in support of Single Parents' Day this March 21.
Please visit : http://singleparents.about.com/od/holidays/p/single_21_march.htm for more info
Source: Jennifer Wolf @ http://singleparents.about.com/od/holidays/p/single_21_march.htm
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